It’s not that our dog, Ethan, can’t be left alone. He can. He just doesn’t think it’s a good idea. In fact, we’re pretty sure he’s actively judging us as we walk out the door. Luckily for us, he prefers the silent treatment when he’s upset and deals with our departure by quietly curling up on the couch next to the front window, monitoring the street for the distinctive hum of our cars. For other dogs, and some cats, this is decidedly not how they express their feelings about your departure.
Studies show that one in five dogs will exhibit some sort of separation related problems in their lifetime and not just in newly adopted animals. Separation related behaviors can range from the mild (short bouts of whining) to the intense (think destroying that expensive rug you splurged on before pre-adoption). And the cause is not always anxiety. Dogs and cats may be experiencing boredom, illness/discomfort, or frustration as well as anxiety related to your departure.
Why It Happens
Many events can trigger separation related problems, and unfortunately, the back-to-school shift is among the most common. A house that was lively all summer and offered numerous opportunities for cuddles abruptly becomes quiet, and for pets that transition can be hard. Early life experiences may serve as a basis for some of the problems, but the key question remains: what need is your pet trying to meet through this behavior?
What It Looks Like
Classic signs include barking or howling, destructive chewing, attempts to escape, and accidents indoors despite being house-trained. Less obvious signs may include pacing, drooling, or refusing to eat or drink when you’re away. The common thread: these behaviors occur only when the pet is alone.
How to Help
The underpinning of addressing separation related problems is teaching your dog that being alone is safe and enjoyable. This often means starting with very short absences, sometimes just seconds, and gradually increasing your time away. Avoid emotional goodbyes and greetings, which can heighten your dog’s sense of departure and return. A quick phrase (“I’ll be back”) with a calm pet creates a routine without raising their adrenaline.
Mental enrichment is equally important. Food puzzle toys, chew items, and access to a safe, comfortable space can help a dog self-soothe. Playing soft music or leaving on talk radio may reduce stress for some dogs. For Ethan’s first months with us, Alexa played Bach every time we left. If your pet likes screens, there are long-form YouTube videos and live feeds and some shelters stream their playgroups, offering entertainment and supporting shelter fundraising. Make sure the screen content is enrichening but not over stimulating for your dog.
In more severe cases, professional help can make the difference. Certified trainers using positive reinforcement can design a gradual desensitization plan, while veterinarians may recommend medication to lower baseline anxiety and make training more effective.
Involving the Whole Family
Parents can help children understand that a dog’s separation related problems are not “bad behavior” but a signal of big feelings. Kids can take part in short, calm departure drills or be responsible for prepping the dog’s “departure treat” before school. This supports the pet and teaches children empathy and patience.
The Shelter Connection
If your dog struggles with separation related problems, the Santa Cruz County Animal Shelter Foundation can connect you to local resources, including trainers and behavior workshops. If you’re often at home, fostering a dog can be transformative for both the animal and for the family who eventually adopts them.
Understanding and addressing the needs of our pets can take time; but in acknowledging the behavior for what it is, the animal expressing an unmet need, we not only improve the lives of our pets, but show our children that patience and persistence are what deepen our connections to those we love.
Quick Tips: Addressing Your Dog’s Separation Related Problems
- Start small: Begin with 30-second departures and build up slowly.
- Keep goodbyes casual: Emotional farewells can increase stress.
- Offer enrichment: Consider puzzle feeders, a frozen treat or shelter YouTube videos before leaving.
- Create a safe space: A cozy bed or crate where your dog feels secure.
- Sound therapy: Soft music or talk radio.
- Get help early: Consult a positive reinforcement trainer or your vet.
For a list of positive reinforcement trainers in our area, contact: [email protected]
Sarah Krummel is a Santa Cruz County Animal Shelter Foundation board member and a Program Specialist for Santa Cruz City Schools. Connect with her at [email protected]
