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Grandparenting Outside the Box
Before my granddaughter was born, I had a sense about what kind of grandmother I would be. I may have underestimated how obsessed I would be with her, but other than that, I am the sort of grandmother I imagined I would be. After all, grandparenting is just an extension of who we are as parents, which is an extension of who we are as human beings. Now that we’re older (sorry to break the news), we may have mellowed in some ways while some personality traits might have gotten even more annoying, but we’re basically the same people we’ve always been (no matter how many self-help books we’ve read).…
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Child’s Play
Before I had a grandchild, much of my internet searching started with a headache that quickly escalated to the most common symptoms of a brain tumor, or the discovery that one of the side effects of a new medication is death. Now that I’m a grandmother, my searches and the results are a bit more cheerful, but they can still send me down a rabbit hole. The rabbit hole is where I learned that there is a condition called Obsessive Grandmother Syndrome and a style called Coastal Grandma. And where I learned that I might have Obsessive Coastal Grandma Style Syndrome (OCGSS). And yes, my granddaughter’s big head does mean…
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The Times They Are a Changin’
The thing about “the times” is that they’re always changing. It’s their nature. I want it to be my nature too. I want to be the kind of grandmother who adapts to new ideas. Not the old person in the room complaining how everything has changed or rejecting out of hand anything that isn’t done the way it used to be done. Why? Because I believe a lot of things have changed for the better, but mostly because I want to embrace the things that my children and grandchildren are embracing, so that I can truly be a part of their lives and have deep connections with them. It’s harder…
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Beginner’s Mind
I’ve thought a lot about the things I hope to teach my granddaughter, but the truth is I will probably learn more from her than she will ever learn from me. Seeing the world through her little eyes has already opened mine. There is concept in Zen Buddhism called beginner’s mind. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions about a given subject or idea, just as a beginner would. It is meant to counter the closed-mindedness that can occur when one thinks of themselves as an expert. A person can become so used to doing things in a certain way that they do not…
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Becoming a Great Grandmother
An old adage says the best thing about being a grandparent is that you can give the baby or toddler or teenager back to the parents when you’ve had enough. That might be true, but for me it doesn’t get to the heart of the matter. Plus, I don’t always want to give my granddaughter back to her parents when my time with her is up. Of course, I always do, because that would be kidnapping and kidnapping is bad.For me one of the best things about being a grandparent is that I know I’m not going to mess up or mess her up. As I mother, I wasn’t so…
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One Over the Top Grandmother
As I write this, I have: I’m pretty sure this makes me one over-the-top grandmother. I didn’t even mention the things I’ve found for free. Was I supposed to leave the hand-crafted doll bed and highchair on the side of the road just because I don’t know if my granddaughter will like dolls or even be tall enough to play with them for another three years? My husband thought so. There is also the abandoned Radio Flyer rocking horse, almost as big as a real-life pony, currently living in my garage. Every time I walk by, it whinnies at me, as if to remind me how ridiculous I am. Am…
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Exhausted in the Best Way
My granddaughter is exhausting. But I’m not complaining. When I am with her, I am all in. When she is hungry, I feed her, when she wants to climb up the stairs, I follow behind her ready to catch her if she falls. When she wants to open and close and open and close and open and close the cupboard doors, I sit patiently on the stool until something else catches her eye. The cat walks in, unaware that there is a strange and scary little being who is about to squeal with delight at her presence. She follows the frightened kitty into the bedroom, and I am right there…
