The holiday season is often synonymous with gift-giving, but for many, the pressure to buy the perfect present has overshadowed the true spirit of the season. If you find yourself stressed about shopping, worried about your finances, or surrounded by gifts that you don’t want or need, you may be ready to rethink this tradition.
Here’s how you can stop giving gifts for the holidays while still celebrating with your friends and family in more meaningful ways.
Communicate Early and Honestly
The key to shifting away from gift-giving is to let your family and friends know your intentions well in advance. Explain your reasons:
Stop worrying about how much to spend on gifts.
Focus on quality time, not material goods.
Aim for financial freedom.
Simplify the holidays and reduce stress.
A heartfelt conversation can help people understand that your decision isn’t about withholding but about creating a more intentional holiday.
Offer Alternatives to Gift-Giving
Gifts are often forgotten, but experiences create lasting memories. For your family, create a holiday bucket list of fun activities to do together:
Game or Movie Night: Spend time together playing games or watching classic holiday films.
Nature Outings: Take a hike, walk on the beach, or go bike riding together.
A Holiday Potluck: Gather friends and family for a meal where everyone contributes a dish.
Acts of Kindness: Involve your kids in choosing a charity to donate to or volunteering as a family. Helping others during the holidays can teach them the value of generosity and gratitude.
Focus on Handmade and Heartfelt Gestures
If you feel that skipping gifts entirely might be too drastic, consider replacing store-bought presents with homemade or thoughtful gestures. Examples include:
Making lip balm or lotions.
Organizing a photo collage of special moments.
Baking cookies or other treats to share.
Set Boundaries on Gift-Giving
If you’re part of a family or social circle that clings to gift-giving, propose a compromise:
Draw names for a Secret Santa so everyone buys just one gift.
Set a strict budget for presents to reduce financial stress.
Focus on gifts for children only (and put an upper limit cap), if applicable.
Model the Change
Be prepared to encounter some resistance, especially if gift-giving is deeply ingrained in your family or friend group. By showing how meaningful and enjoyable a gift-free holiday can be, you may inspire others to follow suit in future years.
Reframe the Purpose of the Holidays
Redirect the focus from presents to presence. Remind loved ones that the holidays are about being together, appreciating our blessings, and remembering family and friends who are no longer with us. Share stories, cook meals, and create new memories.
Practice Gratitude
If you’re worried about disappointing others, remember that the holidays are what you make of them. Take time to appreciate the relationships, health, and opportunities you already have. Gratitude is the best gift you can give to yourself and those around you.
Final Thoughts
Stopping gift-giving for the holidays doesn’t mean losing the joy of the season—it means rediscovering it. By focusing on connection and experiences, you can create traditions that are less about materialism and more about what really matters.
Take the first step this year and see how liberating (and joyful) a no-gift holiday can be. You might just find it’s the best gift you’ve ever given yourself.
Susan Tatsui-D’Arcy is the founder of Merit Academy (one-on-one classes)and Merit Educational Consultants (college and educational advisory). She has written books on projects, free child care, education, and parenting. Susan hosts TEDxMeritAcademy for students to present their innovative projects and solutions. In 2019, she was California Mother of the Year. meritworld.com
