Help, It’s the Holidays! 

The holiday season is a busy time. Parties and events with friends and extended family can leave pregnant and new parents feeling frazzled. Here’s some help to navigate some potentially stressful holiday situations.

It’s not uncommon to be exposed to potentially traumatic or frightening birth stories during social situations. While a pregnant person can simply excuse themselves from a group if the topic gets too intense, a one-on-one situation can be a little trickier. One idea is to physically reach out and touch the storyteller’s arm. Say clearly, “Oh, I’m trying not to hear any stories about (getting an epidural, having a cesarean, a baby in the intensive care unit, etc.) right now.” Offer to hear the story after the baby comes, then ask a question about something safer like diapering tips.

With extended family visiting for the holidays, free-flowing parenting advice often follows. It can be difficult for grandparents and others to hear how what they did years ago, often on doctor’s orders (wean the baby, make baby sleep through the night, start solids at a few weeks of age) is now bad advice. Assume that, however hurtful their advice may seem, it is given out of love, and perhaps ignorance of current guidelines, or your specific choices.

Take a moment to see that defending your current parenting decisions might be seen as criticizing their past choices. Try to acknowledge the feelings behind the advice; “I know you are concerned about Sarah nursing so often, but…” or “I can tell you are nervous about Noah’s sleeping arrangements, but…” Give them concrete information and any facts that support your choices. You can always enlist your pediatrician’s advice. “I know you gave Michelle solids at two-months, but we agree with our doctor’s advice to do it this way.” Clearly state when a topic is not open to discussion. (Be united on this.)
Take a hard look at holiday expectations. All the extras can be exhausting, especially when pregnant.

• Take time out to rest.

• Take advantage of online shopping.

• Be sure to only eat buffet foods that are fully cooked, and served at the proper temperature.

• Avoid eggnog that is not pasteurized or is made with raw eggs while pregnant.

• Try not to skip meals.

• Stay hydrated.
  Take extra care when breastfeeding, too. Being stressed or tired can lead to nursing issues. One too many postponed feeding, extra bottle, or pacifier session can lead to engorgement, plugged ducts, and/or a dip in milk supply. Is baby just fussy or actually dealing with a decreasing milk supply – nobody wants an unexpected holiday weaning. To help avoid these issues:• Anticipate expected feeding times and encourage baby to nurse.
• An overstimulated baby might sleep to cope with noisy rooms and too much handling. “Good” babies can miss important feedings.
• Put baby into a sling/carrier to keep them close and calmed
• Be extra alert for cues that baby is hungry before he or she is crying.
• Baby may need a quiet place to be able to focus on nursing.
• Wear clothing that makes nursing easy (and if important to you, more discreet.)
  Suspect mastitis (a breast infection) any time a nursing parent has flu symptoms (achy-all-over feeling, headache, fever, and especially a sore breast).
• No matter what festivities are scheduled, symptoms of mastitis or blocked duct should take priority – rest with baby and nurse often, apply cool compresses to the affected area, and consider an anti-inflammatory medication. Most symptoms will resolve within 24 hours; if not or if they are worsening, get medical care.
  One of the best gifts a pregnant or new parent can give themselves is one of time. Make this the year to bring dinner rolls to the potluck, instead of a main dish. Bow out of a few activities entirely. Spend time nurturing yourself and your little one; you’ll both feel better for it.
  Find new traditions that better fit your new and growing family and have a happy holiday season!
  www.birthnet.org for local service providers including:
• Lactation help
• Counseling
• Parenting Support
• By Laura Maxson, LM