Celebrating Our Fathers

Let’s cheer this month for all the dads who take their job in fatherhood to heart! Our kids, families and communities are blessed to have you in our lives and the world is better because of YOU.

One father in particular I am going to feature in this month’s article is someone who has been so generous and kind and a pillar in our community, yet expects nothing in return – he is a father and “like a father” to many, a leader in the Santa Cruz community – none other than the owner of Growing Up in Santa Cruz, Brad Kava.

Brad and I met a few years back when I got a chance to be interviewed and featured for a Mother’s Day issue and what a great way to express gratitude and celebrate the man who has dedicated his life to being a great dad and sharing all the great Santa Cruz vibes with local parents.

Psychology Today has stated in many articles, “Children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident to explore their surroundings, better social connections” There are many reasons why we can celebrate the awesome dads of the world and specifically right here in our community.

Tulsa magazine states the top 10 things that make a great dad and I agree:

He shows up

He sets a good example

He treats the mother of his children with respect

Takes joy in his kids

Disciplines fairly

He listens

He verbally and emotionally expresses love and compassion

Spends quality time

He is protective

He is supportive

He is a leader of the family dynamic and community.

I decided to ask some deep questions to Brad and I’ll be the first to say he was nervous to do this and didn’t want the attention – I am so grateful he decided to say yes especially knowing how hard he has worked to be a great dad and to support other moms and dads

Here they are:

How has becoming a father changed you?

I never knew how self-centered I was until I became a father. All I had to do before was take care of myself. Then, suddenly everything changed, like changing diapers, setting a sleep schedule around an infant, making school lunches and trying to make healthy dinners, waking up to drive to school, learning about after school activities, from Little League to art and piano lessons. I was no longer the center of my world: my son is. I can’t make any decisions without keeping him in mind. And I realize I have to be careful about everything I say and do because he will pick up on it all and imitate me, even when I think he’s not paying attention. I once had a friend tell me that becoming a father will make me more conservative politically. Nope. It’s made me care about the environment and helping other people as much as possible to make the world better for him.

What is the best part of parenthood?

Being a parent makes me a kid again. I see the world through his innocent eyes and feel like I’m seeing things I’ve taken for granted for the first time. I also have someone to share my favorite things with and luckily he likes most of them as much as I do. Then, there’s singing songs together in the car and playing games we make up, like guess the tune I’m humming or guess what I’m thinking based on rhyming words. I used to hate driving; now I love it with his company.

What is the most challenging part of parenthood?

The most challenging part is giving up sleep; having to be on my best behavior at all times; making myself the second priority; cooking chicken nuggets; finding food that is healthy and kid -friendly; navigating schools and bullies and seriously bad kids; keeping him doing activities that don’t involve a screen, which means I have to be attentive to him more than myself; finding time to work.

What is the greatest thing you hope your children will learn from you?

Somehow he’s already learned to be kind and treat kids and adults with respect. I’m not sure how he learned those things, but I’ll take some credit. I can’t think of anything more important than that.

What is the greatest thing you hope your children will learn from you?

I NEVER wanted to be a dad. I loved kids but didn’t feel worthy to have one. Now that I have one it’s the greatest thing ever. It’s broadened my mind and activities more than I ever could have expected. I bought this magazine to learn to be a better father and community member and it’s paid off mentally, if not financially. I’ve learned so much from our writers and readers and love sharing experiences with the Growing Up community.

Sometimes my son teaches me as much as I teach him. For example, I was never much into classical music. But he chose to play it on the piano and suddenly, I’m going to the symphony and learning about Mozart and Beethoven. I’ve visited playgrounds the way I used to visit clubs and bars. I now know every superhero’s secret identity. I’ve seen every Marvel movie multiple times, because that’s how kids watch movies. Being a dad has made me a better, more conscious person, aware of the world around me so I can explain it to him.

I am so grateful for Brad Kava and these answers which brought tears to my eyes immediately

I’m sure so many of us parents can relate to much if not all of this in our own way with our kids.

I’ve seen him with his son and it is truly priceless to know this deeper story behind who he is as a father.

I hope this will inspire you to ask a dad you love these questions and remember we are all doing the best we can on this journey.to the dads out there who despite how tough it can be make the effort and put their kids first and do their best to lead by example- THANK YOU.

We honor you and the fathers in our community this Father’s Day

Here’s to DADAS 🙂 we love you! And as a mama thank you