Does your child get so nervous that it hinders their performance? According to my survey, over 85% of high school athletes have experienced this. Overthinking is real, especially in sports. To support your athlete, it is important to understand what exactly overthinking is and how it affects your child in a game.
Four primary patterns stand out during overthinking: a pessimistic mindset, a lack of confidence, a fixed mindset, and a tendency to compare. A pessimistic mindset focuses on the negatives and obsesses over what could go wrong. A lack of confidence can make children feel unworthy of going out and playing.
A concept coined by Carol Dweck, a fixed mindset, creates a mental loop in which children ruminate on their mistakes. They believe they are stuck where they are and can’t get any better. When thinking spirals, it is easy for athletes to compare themselves to their opponent, picking out all the ways the opponent is better. Focusing on these negatives distracts them from the game right in front of them.
Young athletes rely on the people around them, whether it’s their coach, teammates, or parents. Therefore, it’s important to figure out how we can keep their minds from becoming their worst opponent.
First, they have to acknowledge that they are overthinking in a game. A good player notices when thoughts negatively affect performance. When your child is overwhelmed by negative thoughts, they forget their own skill and potential. Next, they need to slow down mentally, give themselves time to think through their next step, and focus on what’s right in front of them.
Honestly, when I was first told to “just breathe”, I doubted something so simple and cliché would work. But in moments of stress, panic, and overthinking, my breathing races and my chest tightens; using breath as a tool helps significantly. Strategies like box breathing use deep, controlled breaths: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4, and repeat as many times as needed to slow your heart rate and calm your nerves.
Additionally, children should adopt the idea of “just keep swimming,” or as I call it, a goldfish mentality. This encourages children to move past their mistakes and look towards the future, finding peace and solutions.
Helping children look for the light at the end of the tunnel, allows them to focus on what they can control, not on what they can’t.
Within my survey, 30% of respondents shared that they like to recite positive affirmations. Like when Lightning McQueen, from the movie “Cars,” tells himself, “I am speed,” it really works! Telling yourself, “I can do this,” and “I got this,” is more beneficial than saying “I can’t do this,” or “I’m terrible” because it…
Children picturing themselves in scenarios of success, like shooting a shot, making a pass, or beating a time, is a unique method called visualization, or mental rehearsal.
There are other ways children can prepare before the whistle blows. In my survey, two common methods students use before a game are listening to music and strategizing. Listening to music helps your child to drown out their pre-game jitters and “lock in” before their game. If your child is more strategy-oriented, they can look over film, talk with their coach, or look at the other team’s stats. By studying their past practices or games, they can reflect on what went wrong, what went well, and how to improve.
So, the next time you find your child spiraling in their own thoughts, remind them to take a deep breath and “just keep swimming:” forget the mistake, remember their skill, and look for solutions. Because the real game isn’t happening in their head, and they deserve to play the one in front of them with confidence.
