Every June, I meet high school graduates and their proud parents beaming with excitement about the next chapter—college! But as I get to know these students, a concerning pattern emerges: most are woefully unprepared for life on their own. Many don’t know how to manage their time, advocate for themselves, or even decide what they want to study. And the truth is—it’s not their fault.
Schools Aren’t Teaching Independence
In today’s educational landscape, we’ve become so focused on standardized tests, GPAs, and college admissions checklists that we’ve unintentionally stripped students of the tools they need to become independent thinkers and problem-solvers.
Teachers often provide detailed study guides that spell out exactly what students need to know for the test. While this may boost short-term grades, it discourages students from reading thoroughly, thinking critically, and asking deeper questions. Why bother learning more if it won’t be on the test?
When students are constantly told what to focus on and how to prepare, they lose the opportunity to explore topics based on curiosity and personal interest—both of which are essential for academic and career success.
Over-Scheduled and Under-Prepared
Most high school students I work with are juggling intense schedules packed with AP classes, sports, music lessons, volunteer hours, and leadership roles—all carefully curated for college applications. But here’s the problem: colleges are now looking for depth, not breadth. They want students with genuine interests and focused passions—not “jack-of-all-trades” candidates who are stretched thin and mastering none.
These overbooked teens often don’t have time to reflect on who they are or what excites them. They’re getting the grades, checking the boxes, and keeping up appearances—but they’re not developing the life skills they’ll need in college and beyond: time management, self-discipline, resilience, and decision-making.
Their daily routines are micromanaged by well-meaning adults. Wake up. Go to school. Go to practice. Eat. Study. Sleep. Repeat. As a result, many don’t know how to plan their day, prioritize their tasks, or ask for help when things go wrong. Once they leave the structure of home and school, they often feel overwhelmed and paralyzed.
Mismatched Majors and Uninformed Decisions
On top of this, many students feel pressure to choose “safe” majors—STEM fields, business, or law—even if they have little interest or understanding of those careers. I’ve seen countless students choose a major based solely on job security, only to switch majors multiple times or graduate feeling disconnected from their future.
Worse, they often haven’t had the chance to explore these fields through internships, job shadowing, or hands-on experiences. They head to college with no clear idea of what their chosen career entails—or whether they’ll enjoy it. Do we really want our kids to commit to careers they don’t like—for the rest of their lives?
The Fallout After College
You’d think they’d figure it all out by graduation—but many don’t. I frequently meet college grads who come to me for help applying for jobs because they don’t know how to present themselves, write a résumé, or articulate their strengths. They’ve done the coursework, but they haven’t been taught how to navigate the adult world.
On the flip side, employers report that they spend 6–15 months training new grads—not just in technical skills, but in basic professional behavior. Many graduates don’t know how to listen actively, see the big picture, or analyze situations to solve problems.
What Can Parents and Educators Do?
- Encourage unstructured time: Let your teen have downtime to think, explore, and pursue personal interests—not just scheduled activities.
- Support curiosity over grades: Ask them what they’re learning—not just what their grade was.
- Let them fail (safely): Mistakes build resilience. Don’t rush in to fix everything.
- Teach time management: Have them plan their own weekly schedule—balancing school, activities, and personal time. It’s transformative.
- Expose them to careers early: Encourage job shadowing, internships, and informational interviews well before college.
Our teens need more than AP classes and a polished résumé. They need life skills, self-awareness, and independence. If we start now, we can raise a generation of young adults who are not only college-ready, but truly life-ready.
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Susan Tatsui-D’Arcy is the founder of Merit Academy (one-on-one classes) and Merit Educational Consultants (college and educational advisory). She has written books on projects, free child care, education, and parenting. Susan hosts TEDxMeritAcademy for students to present their innovative projects and solutions. In 2019, she was California Mother of the Year.
