When you drive around Aptos neighborhoods, you can’t miss the signs. They popped up last month as if by magic in front of homes with graduating seniors.

But it wasn’t magic in the beginning. It was actually from a chance meeting between two moms that the project began.
A huge disappointment

Sandi Kolossa struggles to find the right word for how her family was feeling in late April.

“When the rest of the school year was called off, there was that little moment of, especially for the senior, my son, I think that disappointment is—I don’t even know what the right word is—harsh? A huge disappointment,” Sandi sums up. “It should have been the final time to see his friends, a lot of whom he went to preschool or kindergarten with.”
Down the street at Virginia Nosky’s house, the feeling was regret.

“When we had our last day of school right before St. Patrick’s Day, [my daughter] is like, ‘Mom, we’re not doing anything in class, I don’t think I’m going to go to school’,” Virginia remembers. “But a week later [when distance learning was extended], it all of a sudden hit her, ‘Oh, my goodness, if I would have known that was my last day of school, I would definitely have gone. I would have said bye to my friends!’”
Our high school seniors are missing a rite of passage that is near universal in modern America. They’re missing the hectic last days of school, posing for photos, signing yearbooks, saying goodbye to teachers, the parties, the gifts, and most of all, the ceremony.

Virginia and Sandi were both preoccupied with this thought as they set out for their afternoon walks.
Walking in Rio del Mar

The two moms encountered each other, and started to chat as they often do in the neighborhood. Talking about all that their seniors were missing, they came up with an idea: They wanted to support their own seniors and do something to bring the community together.

Sandi had a friend who worked at A Sign ASAP in Scotts Valley. Although the business was not essential and was closed to the public, her friend contacted the owner, who could print signs himself. He just needed a design and a number to print.

Virginia’s son Trent was studying graphic design at Aptos High, so they enlisted his help in the design. They ordered 150 signs at $10 apiece, having a hunch that it might be a good community-builder.
Then it mushroomed.

“I texted people I knew, Virginia texted people she knew,” Sandi remembers. “I texted a friend who had a daughter graduating from Aptos Junior High, and they decided they wanted signs. Then Rio del Mar Elementary decided they wanted signs. My sister knew people over in Santa Clara County and they wanted signs. Just from our Aptos sign it snowballed, so if you look at [A Sign ASAP’s] Facebook page you’ll see all the signs that people have requested. My friend Cynthia isn’t working, she was laid off, but she’s happy that her boss could get some work because he’s a small business owner.”

The social-distancing sign party
When the signs arrived, Sandi and Virginia sat on either sides of the yard as parents came to pick up and pay. The distribution itself became a community event, leaving the families involved feeling more connected than ever.

“[A parent] emailed me and said, ‘I brought home your sign and my daughter and family were so happy because they felt like now she’s being acknowledged’,” Sandi says. “I emailed back and said, ‘Now you’re going to make me cry, that’s the nicest thing ever!’ It’s just a sign. It’s small but it shows community pride.”

The importance of ritual
Sandi says that the whole experience has made her think of how childhood is a series of rituals.
“You take them to kindergarten, you cry. They graduate from Rio and you think, ‘Wow, they went kinder through sixth grade.’ Then they go to junior high and graduate, then they go to high school and it’s like, ‘This is too fast!’”

Aptos High, like all the other high schools in the county, is taking its graduation virtual. Students will pick up their cap and gown along with a goody bag, and then everyone will tune in from home.
“It would have been great if we were all together on the field, watching him graduate, walk across the stage,” Sandi admits. “But now everyone will be in their own home watching it. I’m happy that my in-laws can watch the graduation, at least it’s something. I’ll make a great lunch, I’ll decorate the front of the house, we’ll celebrate on our own. I will take whatever they give me at this point!”

The importance of connection
“I think there’s something to be said about the social-emotional learning of children and how that should be acknowledged as essential,” muses Virginia, who teaches third grade at Rio del Mar Elementary. “I had a student last week who had his birthday and it was the sweetest thing for the cars to drive by, to have a sense of connection as close as they could have it and see that people still love them.”

Virginia has been pondering the lives of these kids, born during 9-11, raised in a tight-knit community that has had to give up on its spring traditions to keep everyone safe.

“I like to find the positive in everything,” Virginia says. “The positive of having it virtual is that we will have this beautiful video to carry and keep of our high school students forever.”

It is magic after all
The signs didn’t appear by magic, but rather through the magic of people making connections however they can.

Congratulations from Growing Up in Santa Cruz to Sandi and Virginia’s students: Grant Kolassa, who will be attending Cal Poly San Luis Obispo majoring in history and political science, and Lauren Nosky, who will be attending the Cal State Long Beach Nursing program. Congratulations to all of our county’s graduating seniors.

Listen to our podcast of this interview: bit.ly/2B5vwcd

Suki Wessling is a local writer and teacher, and is the parent of a college student and a graduating senior. Visit her blog about parenting and education at SukiWessling.com.