Dear Mama,
I am writing this to share something that has been on my heart for a very long time. Mother’s Day has become a bit commercialized. Flowers, cards, maybe breakfast in bed if you’re really lucky. As lovely as those are, they barely scratch the surface of what most moms truly need. Every mom I know wants something simple that often gets missed. To feel seen, supported, and like ourselves again. To breathe and feel held. To have fun and play again.
Underneath the cape, most moms are carrying far more than anyone can see. The invisible load is becoming more visible. Over 60% of moms say they feel constantly overwhelmed, and more than 1 in 5 experience anxiety or depression at some point in motherhood. Moms are being held to an unrealistic and unhealthy standard, often doing it all without real support. This is the part that gets missed. Moms need more support in their daily lives.
This is why the “S” in my WAVES system is so crucial. It stands for support, and it runs deep for me. The support I am talking about is moms feeling taken care of too. If I am being honest, moms everywhere want the same thing: to feel less alone in carrying it all. This Mother’s Day, I want to offer a small shift with a powerful impact. It starts with a question I ask every mama and client, and it is often the hardest one to answer: What would actually support me right now? And that is not even the hardest part. What most moms find even more challenging is allowing themselves to receive. So this Mother’s Day, if you are a mom reading this, try some of these:
Ask For Real Time
Not just 10 minutes to use the bathroom alone. I mean intentional time. Even if it is only 10 minutes, use it to fuel your soul, not catch up on chores or work.
Say What You Need
Get clear on your needs. Be honest. Take the cape off and let your loved ones truly see you.
Do One Thing That Feels Like You
Not “mom,” but you. Your favorite song, sitting in the sunshine, calling a friend. Something that brings you back to yourself.
Done Over Perfect
This is my favorite. Let things be done as they are. That is enough. If you are reading this and want to support a mom:
Offer Something That Truly Supports Her
- Take the kids to the park.
- Handle the plans.
- Take photos for her.
- Pick up the groceries.
- Spend time with her doing something she loves.
Just show up. Because when you support a mama, you are supporting everyone she is holding together. Here is your reminder: you deserve more than a moment, and it is OK to ask for it. One key question we can check in with is, who is holding you? I will be honest. Many times, the sweet arms my kiddos wrap around me are enough to carry me through even the toughest moments. Every phase of motherhood holds both beauty and challenges.
Every mom I know is doing everything she can to support her family. It is time we raise awareness around supporting moms, too. The more moms take care of themselves, the more they have to give to their families and communities. It truly takes a village, so let’s come together to build one. If you are reading this and thinking this is you, I am here to remind you that you do not have to do it alone. I would love for you to join my village. As a thank you, I am giving away three signed copies of my book, WAVES of Self-Care: It Takes a Village, to offer a little extra support or to gift to a mom you love. Email me at [email protected].
I also have some fun Mother’s Day and summer events coming up to support moms in this space, in and around Santa Cruz. Send me a message or join my newsletter at jaimemcfaden.com. Please reach out to a mom you love today and give her real support. Happy Mother’s Day, and to our children who gave us the greatest gift of all, the gift of becoming a mom. Sending love to all the mamas and those who support them this May and every day.
Jaime McFadden is the #1 Best Selling Author of “Waves of Self-Care: It Takes a Village” jaimemcfaden.com
