Tovah Petra Kolodinski - Growing Up in Santa Cruz

It Takes a Village to Support a Family

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 01:16:20 +0000

Explore why 'it takes a village' is more than just an old saying and how supporting families as a whole leads to stronger, more confident children.

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Rooted in Connection This Summer

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 19:10:44 +0000

Summer offers a unique opportunity for families to slow down and reconnect through nervous system regulation and emotionally safe parenting strategies.

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Before Learning Comes Safety in the Body

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Mon, 11 May 2026 23:16:33 +0000

Understanding how the nervous system impacts behavior and why internal safety is the critical foundation for learning, connection, and emotional growth in children.

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Expression Beyond Words

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 18:53:26 +0000

For many children, emotions are not easily put into words. Discover how creative expression through art, music, and movement offers a natural pathway for processing feelings.

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Autism is a Family Diagnosis

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 05:36:51 +0000

Clinically, autism is diagnosed in an individual. But in lived experience, autism is a family diagnosis that shifts the emotional climate of a home.

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Preschool Transitions Through a Somatic Lens

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 07:44:15 +0000

As families look ahead, conversations about preschool often surface—how to choose one, prepare, and support children through this big transition. For many, preschool is a child’s first step into a wider world beyond home. While exciting, it can also stir big feelings for children and parents alike. From a nervous-system perspective, preschool is less about academics and more about emotional safety, regulation, and connection. As a somatic practitioner and parent, I see preschool transitions as an opportunity to gently support a child’s developing nervous system. Somatic approaches focus on the body as the foundation for emotional regulation and resilience. Young children experience emotions primarily through their bodies—tight bellies, wiggly limbs, shallow breathing—long before they have words. Supporting their bodies supports their minds. In my family, both children attended a nature-based preschool in Santa Cruz. Like many local programs, their days were spent outdoors—climbing, swinging, digging, observing insects, singing under the redwoods, grounding barefoot in the grass, cooking imaginary meals in the mud kitchen, and building dams after a rain. The natural environment itself became a regulating force. Fresh air, open space, and unstructured play offered a softness to the transition that supported their nervous systems. While nature-based programs aren’t the right fit for every family, Santa Cruz offers many options emphasizing movement, sensory exploration, and connection to nature. Separation anxiety is common when starting preschool. It is a healthy expression of attachment, not a problem. From a somatic lens, separation anxiety shows up as a stress response: children may cry, cling, freeze, or resist transitions. Rather than rushing to “fix” these behaviors, slowing down and offering regulation helps. A simple practice parents can use is co-regulation through breath and presence. Before drop-off, take a few slow breaths together. Place a gentle hand on your child’s chest, back, or belly and invite them to feel your warmth. You might say, “Let’s take three slow breaths together before we say goodbye.” This signals safety to the nervous system. Predictable routines also support children. Young children feel safer when they know what to expect. Creating a consistent goodbye ritual—special hug, repeating a phrase, waving from the same spot, or offering a small trinket they can keep in their pocket or cubby—can ease anxiety. Consistency and confidence are key; children sense when we are unsure, and our nervous systems communicate this. Emotional resilience in early childhood is about learning that feelings move through us and that support is available. When a child struggles after preschool—meltdowns, exhaustion, withdrawal—it often means their system is processing stimulation. Some children mask emotions during the day and release once back with a caregiver. Offering downtime, physical closeness, and unstructured play helps restore balance.Body-based tools at home support resilience. Stretching, shaking out arms and legs, or lying on the floor with a pillow on the belly can help children discharge stress. I used to have many impromptu dance parties with my kids—often involving questionable dance moves and loud music chosen by them. Turning these into playful moments—“Let’s shake like dogs after they’ve been in water” or “Let’s be starfish on the ground”—keeps the practices developmentally appropriate and engaging. Social skills also grow during preschool. From a somatic perspective, social learning begins with felt safety. Children who feel regulated are more available for connection, sharing, and cooperation. Rather than focusing solely on manners or problem-solving scripts, we can support social development by helping children notice their internal cues. Dr. Mona Delahooke, whose work has deeply influenced my own and many trauma-informed approaches, emphasizes that behavior is a form of communication. When a child hits, withdraws, or struggles socially, their body may be in a state of overwhelm. Supporting regulation—through movement, sensory input, and connection—often leads to more organic engagement. Parents can model this by naming body sensations and emotions in everyday moments. Part of building a child’s self-esteem is teaching self-advocacy—helping them notice needs, name feelings, and ask for support when something doesn’t feel right. For example, “It looks like your body feels tight right now. Do you want to stomp your feet or take a big breath?” This helps children respond rather than react. Choosing a preschool that aligns with your child’s temperament matters. Some thrive in busy, social environments; others prefer smaller, slower-paced settings. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, and children are best supported when their individual nervous system needs are respected. It is also important to acknowledge parents. Starting preschool can activate emotions—grief, relief, anxiety, pride. Children often mirror what we haven’t processed ourselves. Offering yourself compassion and regulation is not selfish; it is foundational. When we tend to our own nervous systems, we show children that transitions can be met with care and resilience. Preschool is not just preparation for kindergarten; it is preparation for relationship, self-awareness, and emotional well-being. Approaching this milestone through a somatic lens shifts focus from readiness and performance to safety, connection, and trust. In doing so, we lay a foundation that supports children not only as students, but as their most authentic selves.

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Autism and the Future of Education

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Tue, 06 Jan 2026 15:51:43 +0000

Exploring the need for a nervous-system-informed approach to education for children on the autism spectrum, prioritizing safety, regulation, and connection.

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Holiday Rhythms That Keep Us Connected

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 04:53:23 +0000

Discover how holiday rhythms, connection, predictable routines, and sensory pauses can help children and families navigate December's shifts with calm and attunement.

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Staying Grounded Through the Holidays

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 07:32:58 +0000

The holidays can bring moments of magic — sparkling lights, familiar songs, cozy family gatherings. But for many parents and caregivers, they also bring full schedules, high expectations, sensory overload, and an endless to-do list. The season that’s meant to bring connection can easily leave our nervous systems on overdrive. As parents and caregivers, we often focus on supporting our children through holiday stress: keeping routines somewhat consistent, preparing them for transitions, and helping them manage the emotional ups and downs of change. Yet we sometimes forget that our own regulation forms the foundation for how our children experience the season. When we feel grounded, calm, and connected to ourselves, we can co-regulate with them, providing a sense of safety that helps them settle more easily into the moment. So what does regulation really mean? Regulation is our body’s ability to return to a place of neutrality after stress or stimulation. It’s not about staying calm all the time — it’s about noticing what’s happening inside us and finding ways to come back to center or a neutral state. In somatic work, regulation begins in the body, not the mind. The body leads the way through breath, movement, touch, and sensory experiences that signal safety to the nervous system. Regulation starts with awareness — noticing subtle cues from our body before we reach the point of overwhelm. A racing heartbeat, shallow breath, or tightness in your body are invitations to slow down and reconnect. These small moments of noticing become portals back to neutrality and self-trust, allowing us to meet the season with more ease and authenticity. Many of us know common suggestions for regulation — taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or carving out alone time. These can help, but sometimes our nervous system craves something more embodied, creative, or playful — something that brings us fully back to life rather than just calm. Below are 10 somatic tools for parents and caregivers to stay grounded through the holidays. These ideas invite presence, curiosity, and connection amid the holiday chaos. 10 SOMATIC TOOLS FOR HOLIDAY REGULATION Self-hug Wrap your arms around yourself, squeeze gently, and breathe. This simple act activates the body’s calming response and helps you feel safe in your own skin. Dance it out Put on your favorite song and move however your body wants. Movement releases built-up tension and reconnects you with yourself. Water immersion Step into a bath, shower, or even wash your hands slowly in warm water. Water helps reset the senses and invites a full-body exhale. Holiday scent pause Smell can be deeply regulating. Use a seasonal scent — cinnamon, orange, or pine — and take a slow inhale to ground yourself in the present moment. Expressive scribbles Grab a pen and paper and scribble out your stress. It doesn’t have to look like anything — the act of movement and expression helps emotions flow. Micro-movement breaks Jump, shake, stretch, or sway — short bursts of movement keep your energy from stagnating and help the body process stress. Stress “externalization” Give your tension a fun name, like your Tension Troll, and imagine sending it away with a flick of your hand. Playfulness helps release stress and invites humor into hard moments. Ritual object Keep a small item — a bell, ornament, or stone — that you touch or hold when you need to pause and breathe. Rituals create a sense of stability amid busyness. Partnered touch or intimate connection Share a mindful hug, gentle massage, or hand-hold with your partner. Physical connection co-regulates the nervous system and strengthens intimacy. Solo intimate self-care Take a few mindful moments to connect with your own body — through gentle touch, stretching, or self-massage. Tuning into your body helps release tension and restore energy. The holidays can pull us in many directions — toward family obligations, traditions, and expectations. Yet true presence with our loved ones comes from within our own regulated body. When we tend to our inner world, we show up more available, patient, and connected — not just for our children, but for ourselves. Staying rooted in connection means allowing ourselves to feel, to pause, and to return to our neutral state again and again. In the noise and activity of the season, these small moments of regulation are acts of deep love — quiet reminders that we deserve the same care and attunement we so readily offer to others.

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Birth Beyond Fear

Tovah Petra Kolodinski — Fri, 10 Oct 2025 15:52:54 +0000

October brings with it the crisp air of autumn, pumpkins on doorsteps, and a season of playful scares. Halloween may be about jump-scares and haunted houses, but for many expecting parents, the unknowns of birth can feel far more intimidating than any ghost story. Birth is often portrayed as unpredictable and overwhelming, leaving many people feeling more afraid than excited. Yet it doesn’t have to be this way. By using somatic practices—body- based approaches that ground us in the present—we can prepare for birth with calm, trust, and even joy. Fear is a normal part of anticipating birth. The body and mind instinctively tense when faced with uncertainty. Questions about pain, safety, or how the experience will unfold can quickly spiral into anxiety. When the nervous system is activated in this way, the body may resist rather than open. Birth, however, requires softening and flow. This is where somatic tools become invaluable. They help us regulate the nervous system, release tension, and connect to the innate wisdom of our bodies. Instead of getting caught in the question, “Why am I feeling this?” Somatic practices invite us to shift toward, “What is my body feeling right now?” That small change helps us step out of mental narratives and into direct sensation, where grounding and safety can be found. During my own pregnancies, I discovered the power of somatic preparation. I gave birth to both of my children at home, and while I felt deeply aligned with that choice, it didn’t mean I was free from fear. My first birth had been frightening, and when I became pregnant again, I knew I needed a different approach. One of the most powerful tools I used was visualization. I asked someone with a calm, comforting voice to record a guided track for me, and I listened to it every single day leading up to labor. In those moments, I could imagine my body softening and opening, my baby descending gently, and the space around me filled with warmth and calm. Listening daily gave my body a rehearsal, a way to know what trust and safety could feel like. This practice isn’t limited to homebirth. Whether you are preparing for a hospital birth, a birth center, or home, using a guided track or creating your own visualization can make the unfamiliar feel more familiar and accessible. Grounding through the senses was another key practice. During labor, I intentionally noticed small, tangible details: the coolness of the floor under my feet, the sound of my breath, the steady rhythm of my partner’s hand on my back. These anchors kept me present in my body rather than swept away by fear. For someone birthing in a hospital, grounding might come through noticing the softness of a blanket, the steady rise and fall of your breath, or the reassuring presence of a loved one nearby. The practice is less about the environment itself and more about finding orientation and peace in the present moment. Water was another powerful ally for me. Standing under the shower or sinking into a warm bath created an immediate shift in my nervous system. The sensation of water flowing over my skin brought relief, release, and a sense of ease. For those who use a birth pool, water can create a cocoon-like environment that feels both soothing and protective. Even outside of labor, water can serve as a reset—washing away tension and reminding the body to flow instead of resist. Breathwork was perhaps the simplest yet most powerful tool. Our breath is the bridge between body and mind. Slow, steady breathing helped regulate my nervous system and provided a rhythm to follow through each wave of contraction. I often paired my breath with visualization, exhaling as if I was releasing tension and inhaling as though drawing in strength. Breathwork transcends birth settings—it is available to every parent, in every circumstance. What surprised me most was how these somatic tools extended beyond the birth itself. Bringing a baby home, whether from the hospital or into your own living room, can feel like stepping into another kind of unknown. The sleepless nights, constant feedings, and the overstimulation of a newborn adjusting to life outside the womb can feel overwhelming. The same grounding practices that carried me through birth also helped me stay steady during those early days. When I felt stretched thin, I would take a moment to orient my senses, breathe deeply, or step into a warm shower to remind my body that we were safe. In some ways, a newborn experiences the world much like we experience Halloween—loud, unpredictable, and filled with strange sensations. Parents who can stay grounded offer a nervous system anchor for their child. By tending to our own regulation, we create an environment where our babies can feel secure, even in the midst of chaos. Birth preparation does not have to be about eliminating fear. Instead, it can be about transforming fear into trust. By practicing visualization, grounding, water immersion, and breathwork, we give ourselves tools that support not only labor but also the tender weeks that follow. My homebirths gave me firsthand experience of how powerful these practices can be, but they are not limited to one type of birth. They belong to all parents, in every setting, who long to meet birth with presence, strength, and openness. Birth may always carry an element of the unknown, but it doesn’t have to feel like a haunted house. With the right tools, we can walk into it not trembling, but rooted in the wisdom of our bodies and the assurance that we are capable of moving beyond fear into trust and faith.

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