March 2024 - Growing Up in Santa Cruz

Banana Slug String Band Celebrates 40 Years at Rio

growingupsc — Fri, 21 Mar 2025 04:48:23 +0000

They are no different than any other band, except for the fact that The Banana Slug String Band has endured for 40 years. Four men, with four dynamic characters. Doug “Dirt” Greenfield, “Airy” Larry Graff, “Solar” Steve Van Zandt, and “Marine” Mark Nolan. Each inhabiting a precise image, like Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po, but more elemental (earth, air, sun and water). The Banana Slug String Band has toured the world, and been heard by millions, but what keeps them going after four decades? Doug Dirt explains, “How do we sustain this? All the children and families who have supported us. For 40 years we have seen positive changes in our fans. We hear about teachers that use the music in their classrooms. It’s just amazing. The impact that we’ve had, and the breadth and depth of that impact on children and families, for decades – for generations. It’s the people that keep us going through the darkness.” While trees, clean water and air aren’t getting a lot of attention these days, this is nothing new. “Back in the 1980s when we first started, there were a lot of gloom and doom songs about the planet,” says Airy Larry. “We even wrote a few ourselves. But, we made a conscious decision that we weren’t going to go that route. I remember us even discussing it, that we wanted to keep our message upbeat and positive and focused not on the problems, but more on the appreciation of the natural world.” The Banana Slug String Band integrates as many different parts of movement, and theatre, and costumes and puppets and interactive sing alongs, truly flooding the zone, and soon the kids, around the world, are spontaneously adding their own flourish and spin. “The kids,” Airy Larry says, “are the fire that keeps us going. You can see it in their eyes. Children naturally love the earth. It brings them such joy. It’s a natural, beautiful thing about being a human that’s given the right amount of love and attention, people can move out of feeling fear all the time. That’s the space we try to create. Granted, we act very silly and present it to them in the way that we do. Kids get it, they get it all. And they respond in such a way that is fueling me. It fuels me and makes my heart sore and it just recharges me.” Marine Mark, as well as all the members, have been involved in teaching about environmentalism to children and parents since their early days. “Looking at tide pools, watching sunsets, going whale watching, and going bird watching. We talk to kids about things like that. We like to sing about things that are inspiring. The most radical thing we do is encourage young people to go outside and discover the beauty of our planet. Then, they can decide what they want to do with it,” says Marine Mark. Anyone who watches the Banana Slug String Band gets caught up in their engaging lyrics, melodies and costumes. Solar Steve understands that the best way to get a message across is to not be afraid to be silly. “We always sing with humor and its evident that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We will dress in crab costumes, the kids will dress like crabs and we make fun of everything,” says Solar Steve. If there is one quality about the Banana Slug String Band that shines brighter than the others, it’s authenticity. “Authenticity is a great word and I’m glad you used that word because I try to,” says Marine Mark. “I use that word when I’m doing workshops with naturalists. It works best if you’re authentic. Then the spark of creativity can come through our music. We try to create unity through the messages in our songs.” The band’s new CD is called Pollinator Nation and will be available at this special, early, 4pm show.The Banana Slug String Band will be celebrating their 40th Anniversary on Saturday, March 29 at 4pm at The Rio Theatre 1205 Soquel Ave, Santa Cruz. Tickets at snazzy productions.com. By DNA

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Is Local Railroad Track Already Off Course Before It Starts?

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:35:39 +0000

I need you to tell me the truth about something. If the county follows through and builds a half a billion dollar train line from Watsonville to Davenport, will you take it regularly? Will you commute on it? Will you send your kids to school on it? Will you go shopping on it? Please let me know that if we reach deep into our overtaxed pockets to come up with a boatload of money it will in fact take cars off our miserably crunched roads. My own take is that I don’t believe it will take any cars off the road, or a few at best. And keep this in mind. I love trains. I always have. When I was a preschooler, my mother would park us by the tracks at lunch time and I’d eat my bologna sandwich and wait for the daily train to pass. I’ve ridden the rails across the United States, Europe and Asia. But when I look at my life, with kids and shopping and three jobs, I know the only time I would take it is if I had visitors and wanted to take them to the Boardwalk. So, I’d get on a few times a year. And even then, with no place to park at stations, I doubt it would get me out of a car. The way the line is structured, along the coast to the Boardwalk and inland to Davenport, it doesn’t go anywhere I need to go. It doesn’t go near Cabrillo, UCSC, the County Building, Downtown or the mall. It doesn’t go by schools, even though its proponents claimed it does. A mile or more from a school isn’t going to get parents not to drive their kids. If you think I’m wrong, let me know. Just tell me when and where you will use it. I believe in mass transportation, but the definition implies that there is a mass of people who need to be transported out of their cars. I think it works as a fantasy, sure, we’ll leave our cars behind and take this miracle train, but in reality, it’s a pipe dream. For comparison, how many times do you take the bus now? The buses actually go directly to where we need to be, but I see so many of them empty and the train lovers claim more people will ride a one-track rail than a bus. I don’t believe that either. The alternative to a rail/trail would be just a trail, which families could bicycle on, pedestrians could run and walk on and wheelchairs could navigate on safely. The rail people claim the trail they are building alongside the tracks will suffice, but I submit that it won’t be as wide or safe as a trail without the train. It also won’t be attractive with sound walls and fences they will put up and the hundreds of trees they will cut down to make way for both. I suspect we’ve been railroaded by big business interests, not true environmentalists. But again, if I’m wrong and many of you would actually take the train regularly, I’ll be happy to be wrong. But if I were betting, I’d say we are spending millions and millions of dollars on a fantasy. I suspect we’ve been railroaded by big business and blindsided politicians who in their heart of hearts know they won’t be commuting on those rails either. And they are showing again they have no clue about how to spend the public’s money–our money. PS: Of those running for County Supervisor on March 5, the only one who was against the rail was Manu Koenig and even he’s tempered his opposition after 70 percent of the public voted for a rail over a trail. But he’s the only one who’s shown he understands the economics and practicality of this rail fantasy. I’m not in his district, but if I were, I’d vote for him. Thanks for reading, Brad Kava,Editor and Publisher

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Festivals Inspire Santa Cruz Symphony

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:34:43 +0000

The exciting March program begins with the Matsuri Overture. Named for the Japanese word for festival the Matsuri Overture was composed in 2017 by Spain’s José González Granero. Now based in the Bay Area, Granero has been principal clarinet for the San Francisco Opera Orchestra since 2010. The composer recalled that he was inspired by a trip to Kyoto, Japan, during which the Ebisu Festival at New Year’s made a powerful impression on him. During this Festival participants pay their respects and pray for success, using special branches of bamboo grass they hope will bring good luck. Granero’s Overture captures the feel and excitement of both the ancient Japanese festival as well as the modern vibrant pace of Kyoto. Emotional and eloquent, the Schumann Cello Concerto is a popular piece for solo cello and orchestra. Flowing from meditative depths into a soaring conclusion, this stunning concerto casts a spell. The three movements begin with the main theme performed by the soloist, which then leads to variations and improvisations upon that theme by the orchestral instruments. The slow second movement gives way to a final sonata moving from A minor to a mood-altering A major. This concerto is much-performed and considered one of the greatest Romantic works composed for the cello. The concert’s final offering, Igor Stravinsky’s Petrushka, is another beloved piece of music created for ballet, and was written in 1911 for the famous Ballets Russes company of Sergei Diaghilev. The composer was inspired by folk music to help create music for the crowds gathered to enjoy a traveling festival. Stravinsky wrote new melodies for the central character, the puppet Petrushka, who suddenly comes to life. The ballet was named for a puppet character well-known in Russian carnivals, much like Punch in English Punch and Judy puppet shows. This popular and innovative piece of modern 20th century music contains unexpected orchestration, drumming, and dazzling sound design filled with energy and romantic descriptions of the private emotional life of the puppet. Poor Petrushka falls in love with a ballerina puppet in Stravinsky’s piece, and this ill-fated love is juxtaposed musically with the frenzy of the orchestral crowd scenes. Petrushka’s beloved ballerina prefers another puppet, the two rivals fight a duel, and well, you’ll find out how it ends. With its Paris premier starring the great ballet star Nijinsky, Petrushka’s music, design, and dance made it a very popular production. Guest soloist, Gaeun Kim will perform during this wide-ranging concert that brings together in a single performance festival music inspired by Japan, Russia, and one of the masters of the Romantic period of European music. Kim, a 20-year-old cellist based in New York, has won worldwide competitions and prizes since the age of four. This year she appears in Santa Cruz as part of a schedule which includes solo performances in New York, Poland, Switzerland, Korea, and Germany With its upcoming Festivals concerts the Santa Cruz Symphony has programmed another musical event the entire family can enjoy. Selections this time include classical music created for dance, a cello concerto to be performed by solo virtuoso Gaeun Kim, and a cross-cultural creation inspired by an ancient Japanese festival. Maestro Daniel Stewart leads the always memorable Symphony through these provocative pieces. Bring the whole family and let your ears be dazzled. By Christina Waters

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Birthday Battle Royale at the Children’s Museum

Comcast — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:32:45 +0000

We’ve had a lot of the usual birthday parties for our 8-year-old son—bowling, the Boardwalk, Blue Ball Park— but nothing topped going to a local museum with Nerf guns locked and loaded to shoot your guests. Think Night at the Museum meets Terminator and you’ve made a lot of boys’ dreams come true. It sounds crazy, right? But the Children’s Museum of Discovery in the Capitola Mall has stretched the boundaries of what a museum can be and has come up with a party like none other. For two hours, kids get to run amok with Nerf blasters. They can bring their own guns or the museum supplies them. It also supplies safety glasses and training. Some might think it’s a pacifist’s nightmare, but museum director Rhiannon Crain, the mother of two boys, knows that toy guns are inescapable and don’t necessarily lead to future violence. “Some parents might think that if kids are never exposed to guns it will reduce the amount of violence in schools, but I don’t think there’s evidence to support that” she said. “Guns have been around forever.” Crain doesn’t have Nerf guns in her home—they are too messy and the dogs will chew them up. But, she says, the Nerf battles are a great wayfor kids to release energy and go home tired. And so many Santa Cruz families live in smaller homes without the 6,000-square-feet of space the museum has, it’s one of the few places kids can hide and run and shoot indoors. The museum has plenty of other party ideas. It’s closed to the public on Sundays for private parties and has smaller parties on Saturdays while open to other people. No guns then. There are parties with fun science studies, ice cream making, slime making, volcano exploding, art creating and disco ball dance partying. But the inspiration for the Nerf wars came after a long Covid closure as a way to get kids excited again. The museum celebrates its 10th year in November and is a wonderful story of a community coming together to create something inspirational. It’s the most-visited museum in the county, says Crain, with anywhere from 120 to 530 guests a day trying out its hands-on exhibits. Kids can race cars, build giant castles, learn about the environment, play with light-up blocks, snake around in slimy sand, play with model railroads and lots more. We spent many, many days there when Parker was a toddler and he still likes it as an older kid. Before the museum found a home, it had a van with traveling exhibits. Then, Patrice Keet, a former Montessori school director and psychologist, was offered the lease on the old Abercrombie and Fitch store. She and a group of friends assembled exhibits in three months. Her husband, Bob, a doctor, built many of them himself. “Something like that can take years,” Crain said. “A lot of people worked very hard. People built stuff in their garages and made it happen.” The non-profit spends about $350,000 to stay open, paying part-time staff, buying art supplies, building exhibits and paying for insurance (you know, with all that gunfire!). Annual passes cost $85. A day’s entry fee is $10 and people with WIC or EBT can get in for $3. “We do it on a shoestring,” said Crain, who has a Ph.D in Science Education from UCSC and has headed the museum since 2019. The Sunday birthday parties cost around $500, money that helps fund the rest of the museum’s low-cost activities. Reservations are made months in advance. Some upcoming activities include children’s yoga, a Pi Day Bake Off, a Teddy Bear Clinic, Mystery Box Monday and a March 23 Summer Camp Festival. See more at SCCMOD.org. They are also seeking donations of cash and costumes, which they go through quickly. Have you been there? What do you think of it? What’s the wildest birthday party you’ve thrown? Drop us a line at editor@growingupsc.com By Brad Kava

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Tips for the Teen Years

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:30:17 +0000

It wasn’t that long ago that I was riding the wild, twisty rollercoaster called Raising Teens. I remember countless tense discussions with my son in particular, who often felt the rules and schedules at home and school didn’t apply to him. It was stressful and exhausting to stay calm and find a balance between setting age-appropriate limits and fostering independence. I’ll admit I wasn’t always successful, but we made it through the turbulent teen years and now enjoy seeing the independent, responsible, and insightful young adult he’s become. In fact, we’re celebrating him getting his first full-time job in the field that he studied. I’m beaming with pride (and relief)…and biting my tongue to avoid saying, “Get to work on time!” This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email us at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Nicole, I don’t know what to do with my 15-year-old. They want to go out with friends that I don’t know and then give me attitude when I ask where they’re going or who they’ll be with. They say I’m too controlling, but I feel like it’s my job to set age-appropriate limits. We argue a lot, though, and I worry about what it’s doing to our relationship. What can I do? ~ Amalia Dear Amalia, Adolescence can be a hard developmental stage for everyone. The part of the brain responsible for thinking logically, managing emotions, and controlling impulses is still developing. This means teens still need their parents and caregivers to provide guidance, even as they’re pushing them away. It can be challenging for parents and caregivers to remain calm and involve their teens in setting rules and making decisions. They might feel like their teens aren’t ready or responsible enough. Yet this is how teens develop social, emotional, and life skills that will prepare them to become independent adults. Here are some tips to try: Remember there’s a lot going on. It’s common for teens to want more independence and less interference from adults. Teens go through physical, mental, emotional, and hormonal changes that can transform their appearance and moods. Some teens think they know all the answers and are invincible, and therefore don’t need parents to be involved in their business. Other times, teens are exploring different parts of their identities and discovering who they are — which might be different from what they’ve been taught to think, believe, or feel by their family and society. These feelings and experiences can create confusion, discomfort, or internal conflict for teens, but they might not be ready or know how to share this with others. Foster open communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your teen to express themselves openly. Have regular, casual conversations about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Ask about school, their likes and dislikes, friendships, or other topics that interest them. Listen actively and acknowledge and empathize with what they say, even if you don’t agree with them. Avoid discussing discipline, expressing disapproval, or giving advice unless you’re asked. This helps keep the lines of communication open Talk about realistic expectations. Testing limits is a natural part of adolescence. It’s how teens practice thinking for themselves, making decisions, and solving problems. When teens ignore family rules, some parents and caregivers react by becoming stricter about rules and consequences. Others give in to avoid a power struggle. Neither reaction is helpful. Instead, talk with your teen about realistic rules and expectations. Involve them in developing a few family rules about going out with friends that they can agree to follow and that will reassure you they’re safe and responsible. Discuss which expectations are non-negotiable (e.g., keeping you informed about where they are) and which ones are flexible depending on the situation (perhaps their curfew). Encourage independence: While it’s natural to want to protect and guide your teen, it’s also essential to encourage independence and autonomy. Allow them to make their own decisions (within reason) and learn from their mistakes. Offer guidance and support but resist the urge to always say ‘no’ or do things for them. FINAL THOUGHTS: Maintaining open communication and a positive relationship with teens is the most important job parents have during adolescence. It’s easier said than done, but your efforts will pay off for years to come. Nicole Young is the mother of two young adults, who also managed Santa Cruz County’s Triple P – Positive Parenting Program for over 10 years. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency, and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit triplep.first5scc.org, facebook.com/triplepscc or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.

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Prepare Your Kids for Careers in an AI-Driven Future-World

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:25:55 +0000

Many parents today never experienced a world where computers weren’t a standard household fixture, let alone a world without the Internet. When the World Wide Web first became available to the public in 1991, it was archaic compared to today. Yet at the time, it was quite the phenomenon. But the rapid speed of technological progress over the past couple of decades will resemble the crawl of a tortoise in another decade or two as technology continues to advance at an exponential rate. In fact, according to Ray Kurzweil, a world-renowned inventor, thinker, and futurist, “We won’t experience 100 years of progress in the 21st century – it will be more like 20,000 years of progress (at today’s rate).” If you have any doubt, Kurzweil has a remarkable thirty-year track record of making accurate predictions. This means the rapid change in recent years is nothing compared to what’s to come. The world in which tomorrow’s young adults will enter will be startlingly different from the one in which we live today. That’s because our world is increasingly dependent on robotics, technology, and now artificial intelligence (AI). But what is AI? It’s machines or programs with the capabilities of human intelligence. AI capabilities include learning, presenting knowledge, reasoning, problem-solving, planning, perception, manipulation, and motion. Right now, AI is in its infancy, and much of what’s purported to be AI is actually pseudo-AI. Whether imitation or the real thing, there are several current AI technologies: chatbots, Tesla, Siri and Alexa, Facebook feed, and Pandora, to name a few – and AI is on the brink of changing the world as we know it. But with all good things come drawbacks. Within the next 20 years, AI will result in a loss of anywhere between 9 and 47 percent of jobs, according to various studies by Oxford University and other institutions. So kids must be fully prepared for our vastly changing world and careers of the future. HOW TO PREPARE KIDS FOR THE FUTURE JOB MARKET Bolster interest and enthusiasm in STEM. Science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) skills are one of the gateways to job opportunities in a world dependent on AI. But to many kids, ‘science’ and ‘math’ spell boring with a capital “B.” This is in large part because kids can’t always see how these disciplines apply to life. So unless your child already expresses genuine interest in one or more of these disciplines, discussing STEM may be met with resistance. The trick is to provide kids with everyday experiences that put the fun in learning or provide kids experiences that are a natural part of life. Once you’ve gained their interest, then explain its relationship to STEM. That way, your child has a positive perspective on the discipline and recognizes its purpose and value. Stimulate spatial awareness. This is an integral part of STEM learning and provides kids the ability to visualize their end product, says David Lubinski, a psychology professor at Vanderbilt University. He is the lead author of a study published in Psychological Science journal, July 15, 2013. Researchers found spatial ability is a predictor of the development of knowledge and innovation in STEM fields. Encourage free play and out-of-the-box thinking. Play fosters imagination, creativity, and resilience to deal with challenges. These traits will be necessary to succeed in an ever-advancing world of AI. When kids play freely, they experiment, explore, and dismantle (things, scenarios, and concepts) to understand how the world works. So play is one of the best ways for kids to learn and develop skills. Develop kids’ ability to deal with the real world. Dave and Helen Edwards, co-founders of Intelligenstia.ai, an AI research firm, point out there will still be careers in the future that are dependent on human capabilities. In “The skills your kids should cultivate to be competitive in the age of automation,” the Edwards explain humans will still be needed for jobs that require: interpersonal skills, applying math to business problems, management of our physical world (environmental science and engineering), as well as health care jobs. People will remain ahead of robots in these areas for some time. Foster social skills and teamwork. These will be valuable assets in the future workforce. Collaboration requires a combination of skills and traits: emotional intelligence, humility, communication, listening, conflict resolution, goal setting, prioritizing, decision making, and framing problems. Emotional intelligence is particularly crucial to the development of excellent social skills and teamwork. Both interpersonal and intrapersonal skills are the framework for emotional intelligence. Interpersonal skills include social awareness and relationship management, while intrapersonal skills include self-awareness and self-regulation. Cultivate entrepreneurial characteristics and skills. Even though automation and technology will reduce the need for laborers, people will always be needed to develop and manage companies. Add to this, the growing trend toward companies outsourcing and hiring independent professionals for a broad range of needs is likely to continue and become more common. Some essential entrepreneurial skills kids should develop are financial literacy, goal setting, problem-solving, creativity, and good work habits. Promote tech skills. Greg Satell says the tech skills of tomorrow will be vastly different from today, in his article, “These Are the Skills That Your Kids Will Need for the Future (Hint: It’s Not Coding).” By the time kids grow up, computer programming will no longer be based on current coding languages. It’ll be based “more on quantum laws and the human brain,” he explains. But because the future of computer programming is unknown, there’s no way to teach it to kids. So Satell recommends kids learn more about quantum dynamics, the logic of code, and genetics, on which future systems will be based. Still, learning to code has its benefits. It’s true learning a coding language of today will unlikely be of any use in the future. But learning how to learn a code can make learning future codes easier. Coding also helps kids develop problem-solving skills. Finally, it’s an excellent way for kids to discover a career path and boost their self-confidence in a STEM discipline. Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer. She also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books, specializing in out-of-print, scarce, signed, and first editions; fine bindings; ephemera and more at sagerarebooks.com

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Postpartum Doulas Help New Families

Laura Maxson — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:23:05 +0000

Sometimes there’s one miraculous moment of postpartum doula care that seems like a turning point in a new parent’s confidence. But more often it’s a series of small, almost imperceptible moments that together lighten the load; allowing everyone to take a breath, get their perspective back and continue learning how to be in tune with their new baby. Postpartum doulas are available to new families for a few hours, days, or weeks. Experienced with feeding support, they can offer encouragement through helpful tips and techniques that have been successful for many other families. They keep an eye out for situations that may seem beyond normal new baby transitions. While not a clinician a postpartum doula might be able to point out a possible problem brewing, so it can be attended to earlier rather than later. What every experienced parent knows, but most expectant parents don’t yet understand, is the intensity of the postpartum period. A postpartum doula can help get that shower in today instead of tomorrow – and during the shower, maybe they’ll quickly change the sheets. Once tucked back in bed with the newborn in arms, the doula might give the bathroom a quick wipe, empty the garbage and throw out that vase of dead flowers on the counter. A postpartum doula’s duties incorporate what’s important to each family. Making sure a new parent gets something nourishing to eat during the day and that there is a plan for dinner. Getting siblings ready for school or dance class. Entertaining the littles so the new parent might catch a quick nap with the newborn. Some tired parents might appreciate reminders such as: it’s the first of the month, are there bills they don’t want to forget about or that there is a pediatrician appointment tomorrow. Anything that reduces the pressures of the real world for a few minutes. Folding clothes, helping make the shopping list, and demonstrating effective burping techniques are all staples of postpartum doula care, but the real gift is the sense of calm that comes with a postpartum doula, and lingers long after they leave for the day. The first few weeks with a newborn are intense – there is no doubt about that. But the intensity should be a mix, with moments of bliss and bonding for the whole family that are unmatched and can be missed if they are overshadowed by ongoing anxiety, exhaustion, and stress. Those at risk for postpartum depression may especially benefit from the support of doula. So, how might you add one more expense into the price of pregnancy and birth? Look into postpartum doula care as soon as possible in the pregnancy. Get an idea of prices and packages, and then budget for it. Some insurance, including Medi-Cal, cover doula care now. Doulas are just now getting registered for payment so it may take some investigating to see how the program will work. Some families build a little nest egg toward postpartum doula care by putting some cash into a doula envelope every month during the pregnancy. Sharing the postpartum doula’s information on your shower registry allows people to contribute either to the family directly, to a friend who is coordinating the postpartum doula gift, or to the selected doula via a gift certificate found on some doula websites. Postpartum doulas aren’t aiming to replace supportive family and friends, but instead augment that care. Not everyone has family or friends ready and able to spend several weeks providing help with cooking, laundry, and baby care for a new family. In fact, many families are miles apart, if not in distance, then in temperament when it comes to planning for supportive care after birth. Postpartum doulas have skills, time and – most importantly – an air of calm confidence when it comes to being with new families. They don’t take over baby care; instead, they model, teach, and encourage parenting skills while helping to keep the household functioning. The gift of a postpartum doula helps prioritize people over things. Babies grow so fast and there are hundreds of beautiful, gently used baby outfits available for pennies on the dollar. But the value of a postpartum doula, especially for a first baby, can’t be matched. By Laura Maxson

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Reaching the Heart Before Reaching the Head

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:20:11 +0000

When you became a parent, did you say to yourself, “I’m going to love my child only under certain conditions”? This is called Conditional Love. I’m guessing this was not your goal. I’m guessing your thoughts align with wanting your child to feel loved at all times. Through all the challenges and mistakes we make, we all want to know we are loved. “I love you no matter what.” This is called Unconditional Love. How to Love Unconditionally The theory of parenting is the easy part. How to put it into practice is the challenging part. Let’s begin with the theory, the easy part. To set the groundwork for children to cooperate with tasks or to de-escalate from an emotional meltdown, you must first make a connection with them, and reach their hearts. Only then can you move to the next step of redirecting or correcting behavior, and reach their heads. You must reach the heart before you can reach the head. The shorthand phrase for this concept used in Positive Discipline is, “Connection before Correction.” Brain Science Supports This Theory When challenging emotions are engaged, the logical part of the brain shuts down. Dr. Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA’s School of Medicine, has been leading the way for years in helping the world understand this fact. Science has confirmed the connection between human relations and basic biological and neurological processes. Emotions are “housed,” if you will, in the limbic part of the brain that is close to the brain stem that ignites our fight, flight, or freeze response. These two parts of the brain often work in tandem. The question these parts of the brain ask is, “Am I loved and am I safe?” Survival. Our logical and emotional regulation skills are “housed” in the prefrontal cortex part of the brain. It asks, “What can I learn from this?” Growth. These two parts of the brain do not operate simultaneously. Basically, when people are calm and rational, their prefrontal cortex is running the show. When emotions flood the brain, there’s a switch over to the limbic system and it is now running the show. Logic, listening, solving, emotional regulation, self-awareness, and making good choices are simply not available until the emotional storm passes. Keep in mind that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until our early to mid-20s. Logic and managing emotions are not something young people are known for. How could they? They don’t have a fully functional brain yet and won’t for a very long time. During a raging emotional storm or even a mild one, the way to help get the logical brain back in charge is to reach out and connect emotionally with the young person first. Once this happens, over time, the brain begins to feel heard and safe. It shifts back to more rational thinking where conversations and solutions can be had. Trauma-informed Practices Support This Theory When trauma is experienced either by a single event or by small acts of abuse and neglect over time, the person’s flight, fight, or freeze response runs on overdrive, ready to defend and attack at a moment’s notice since life has proven to be unpredictable and unsafe. Situations are more likely to be misinterpreted and strong emotional responses become frequent. The part of the brain that holds our memories is also located in the limbic system, therefore emotions and traumatic experiences become locked together in our memories. The past traumatic memory can immediately light up when emotionally triggered, and it plays out as if it is a present circumstance. Professionals in the fields of healthcare, social services, and education receive training specific to children and adults who have experienced trauma. This training highlights the practice of following brain science which includes creating emotional safety, a calm environment, and holding off on enacting consequences or punishing time-outs during emotional moments. These practices boil down to: “Connection before Correction.” What does “Connection before Correction” look and sound like? Let’s go into how to put this into practice, the harder part. Why is this hard? Because when someone is being completely irrational, misinterpreting and misunderstanding the situation, saying and doing hurtful things, and repeating the same phrase over and over, (e.g. “This isn’t fair!” or “Give it to me!”), our emotions light up too and the rational part of the brain starts to shut down just like our raging child. These are our brain’s mirror neurons at play: you laugh, I laugh; you yawn, I yawn; you yell, I yell. Secondly, have you ever tried to have important conversations with drunk people? It’s pointless until they sober up. This is because the prefrontal cortex begins to shut down under the influence of alcohol. So, when your child or teen is melting down, it’s hard to remember that they are exactly like a drunk person with no active prefrontal cortex. Parents want the loud emotions to stop and the problem fixed as soon as possible. It’s a struggle to wait for the time it takes to “sober up.” Now you know the “why” and the “why it’s hard” part of Connection before Correction, here’s the how: Connection Tips for Times of Directives Get into children’s worlds before asking them to get into the adult’s world. About to ask for cooperation? Start by connecting. “Hey, hon! Whatcha doin’? Looks fun. So, a heads up. It’s almost dinner time and it’s your night to set the table.” “Looks like you dug quite a big hole in the sand with your friends. And dinosaurs in the hole too! I want to let you know we have 5 minutes until we leave. I know. It’s hard to say goodbye to friends when you’re having fun. You can invite them to join us tomorrow if you like.” Adults connect first,(e.g. “Hi, how was your weekend? I have a favor to ask.”) Young people enjoy the same courtesy Connection Tips for Times of Big Emotion Think safety first. You can’t have a connection if the child isn’t able to be physically safe. Take calm, firm, decisive action to create a safe space if needed. Remove objects being thrown, move child to a private place away from others, or remove yourself out of harm’s way. Say with a neutral tone, “I’m moving you to a safe space where you can be upset and not hurt others, me, or yourself.” No old-school Time-Outs. Demanding a child sit in time-out is adding gasoline to an already ignited fire of emotions. This does nothing to activate the logical brain and instead conveys to the limbic system that you are the “enemy” and must be fought. Create Time-Ins by utilizing a cool-off place or a calming activity. Time-Ins give space for the emotions to run their course. Go somewhere or do something that soothes the frightened, angry, confused, illogical limbic system. Be with your child keeping up a calm, neutral tone of voice. Remember this will pass. Take nothing that is said personally. It’s NOT personal; it’s raging brain talk. Use empathetic phrases. Acknowledge and allow all feelings but not all behaviors. Speak to the limbic part of the brain looking for safety and love. State the feeling you see and support the feeling. “You’re mad you have to clean up. I understand. I get mad sometimes too. It’s okay to be mad but not okay to hit.” Physical touch. Hug. Breathe. If your child accepts touch, reach out. “Would a hug help? I have one right here for you.” Gentle touch is very calming. Model breathing slowing; exhaling longer than inhaling calms the brain Be present, but silent. Give physical space. If your children resist touch, empathy, or direct attention and become angrier, then pull back, but be ready to connect when they are. Think about basic needs. Food or sleep. Low blood sugar or tiredness greatly impacts brain function. A healthy snack or rest may be what’s needed to regain equilibrium. Follow Through with Corrections. Once the emotional storm has wound down, and the logical brain is back online, redirect, state expectations, re-state boundaries, problem-solve, make amends, address the task needing completion, etc. For young ones, the correction process can happen soon after. For older tweens and teens, hours or days later can be appropriate. Colleen Murphy is a credentialed adult ed teacher, a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer at Positive Discipline Community Resources (www.pdcrcc.org), a preschool teacher at Soquel PENS(www.soquelpens.org), a parent coach (fromtheheadtotheheart.com), and in healthy relationships with her two grown kids.

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Child’s Play

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:07:38 +0000

Before I had a grandchild, much of my internet searching started with a headache that quickly escalated to the most common symptoms of a brain tumor, or the discovery that one of the side effects of a new medication is death. Now that I’m a grandmother, my searches and the results are a bit more cheerful, but they can still send me down a rabbit hole. The rabbit hole is where I learned that there is a condition called Obsessive Grandmother Syndrome and a style called Coastal Grandma. And where I learned that I might have Obsessive Coastal Grandma Style Syndrome (OCGSS). And yes, my granddaughter’s big head does mean she has a lot of brains, but it doesn’t mean I can brag about her nonstop. The rabbit hole is also where I found out that there are four or six kinds of grandparents (depending on the website) and five stages of pretend play. A few months ago, when my then one-year-old granddaughter started to pretend that she was drinking from a tiny toy teacup and stirring her imaginary beverage with a spoon, I thought it was a bit early for this type of play. And because I will always jump to the conclusion that she is a little genius; I googled the average age that pretend play starts. And just as with my self-diagnosed brain tumor, the results were illuminating. It turns out she’s not just pretending; she’s developing important cognitive skills. Of course she is! And if I was opening a preschool or writing a thesis this could be helpful information. But I’m just a grandmother, trying to confirm that my grandchild is above average. A simple yes is all I am looking for. Of all the things to analyze and categorize pretending seems the most absurd. Pretending is magic and make believe and imagination. Leave it to grownups to take all the fun out of fun! But since I can’t unknow what I have learned, I pass my knowledge on to you in the hopes that when your grandchild offers you your first bite of imaginary cake you won’t have to pretend that you don’t know that something truly amazing is happening in her brain (and you won’t have to google it!) The first stage of pretend play is called Enactive Naming, in this stage your above average grandchild is not actively pretending. She is simply showing you the knowledge she has, i.e., cups are for drinking from. In the second stage called Autosymbolic Schemes, your little genius is displaying the first signs of pretending, but only in relation to herself. In other words, she’s not ready to share her pretend tea. Decentred Symbolic Schemes is the third stage This is when she brings others into her web of pretend play (note: in this stage grandma is also engaged in pretend play as she is pretending to enjoy drinking her twelfth cup of tea). The next stage is called Sequencing Pretend Acts. Here she learns to apply a logical sequence to her pretending. For instance, if she wants to give dolly a bath, she will take its clothes off first or, more likely, get grandma to take the clothes off for her (as we’ve already established, she’s no dummy). The final and most sophisticated form of pretending is Planned Pretend. At this stage your brainiac will collect props and items needed for her pretend play.Now if all this has made your head hurt, there’s no need to panic. It’s not a brain tumor. Take two aspirin and go have another cup of tea! If you are enjoying my column or have a topic you’d like me to write about, I’d love to hear from you at sarahsavasky@gmail.com.

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Exploring California’s Wildlife Through Printmaking

growingupsc — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:04:19 +0000

Stephanie Martin is a well known painter and printmaker based in Santa Cruz. Her beautifully hand-colored etchings depict the wildlife of her native landscape. Martin’s illustrations are part of many Bay Area collections and publications, including Fruit Trees for Every Garden: A Organic Approach, by her husband, Orin Martin, manager of UCSC’s Alan Chadwick Garden. How did you discover etching? SM: I fell into etching by pure chance: it was offered in the evening! I was in my mid-40s, working as an elementary school teacher, and interested in a new challenge. I enrolled in Introduction to Drawing at Cabrillo, and the following semester found an Intaglio Printmaking (etching) class offered in the evening. I rushed to class after my day job and was soon smitten by the process. The Advanced Etching class at UCSC met at night, so again the scheduling gods were in my favor. What is the appeal of this medium? SM: Printmaking is seductive. There are so many processes involved in etching and printing a plate; there are steps which demand great concentration and strategizing, and there are more meditative repetitive tasks. I like that balance. Because so much equipment is required, printmakers generally work in shared studios. The tight-knit community that arises in the studio is another wonderful aspect. Printmakers are always game to share techniques and advice, commiserate your failures, and celebrate your successes. Your etchings often spotlight plants, flowers and birds. How did you choose your subjects? SM: I have always been enchanted by California’s avifauna and its wild and cultivated flora. Nothing gives me more pleasure than observing a plant or bird in the wild, taking the time to study it closely, and sketching it. I learn so much about the organism and get lost in wonder. I winnow through my sketchbook to select the images that are compelling enough to develop into an etching. Is the pose interesting, the composition satisfying? Will this be better suited as a black and white or color image? When I portray a bird, whether it is a songbird or a diving falcon, I need to imbue it with life. I’m not entirely sure what animates a piece–partly it’s about getting the eyes right–but I know when I have succeeded. (Or failed: not all etchings cross the finish line.) Plants are also inevitable subjects for me. I gravitate to California native flora, but when my horticulturalist husband or daughter bring home a persimmon branch or an amazing cultivated poppy, how can I ignore it? Plants have the advantage of being more sedentary and easier to sketch from life. I have leeway with composition and design; I can change the size or orientation of a stem or leaf, whereas a bird’s parts cannot be revised. Briefly explain how the etching process works. SM: Once I’ve settled on an image and composition, I start the process of etching the plate. First I coat a polished copper plate with a waxy “ground”, and scribe through that coating with a needle tool. I immerse the plate in acid, which eats away the exposed areas to form channels that will hold ink and print as lines. The next process I use is aquatint, which is a way to create areas of tone on the plate. It is rather tricky but I love the effect it gives, looking like one has painted with watercolor or ink wash. After a plate is etched successfully, I rub ink into the textures and wipe it off the surface. The inked plate is covered with damp paper, a wool blanket, and run through a press. I often work in color, and inking those plates is an exercise in patience, as I hand apply one color, wipe the excess, and continue with the next color. All the colors are printed in one run through the press. Because of the hand work involved in every print, they are all slightly different. To enjoy etching, you must be willing to give up some control. While I have a vague notion of where I am heading with an image, the process itself has its own will. I feel that every plate is a test plate. The acid might etch some unexpected textures, or an idea might come to me mid-process that changes my direction. There are wonderful effects you can get in etching that no other medium can create. What do you strive for in the final result? SM: I have a high regard for my subjects, and hope that my art conveys this. I want an etching to inhabit a life of its own and bring the viewer into a state of wonder. Why does this bird have such a penetrating gaze, or ridiculous crest on its head? That delicate-looking warbler with slender legs and beak: do you know how tough this bird actually is? It migrates thousands of miles every year. The stamens draping from a Boxelder tree in February are as interesting to me as the rare bird perched on the branch. My other aim is to get my audience excited about the curious process of etching itself, and pass the torch, so to speak. The world of printmaking is vast and varied, and etchings occupy a sweet little niche in that world. By Christina Waters

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