June 2022 - Growing Up in Santa Cruz

YAN Pop-Ups

growingupsc — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 15:08:06 +0000

Santa Cruz County Youth Action Network “Pop Ups” Bring Together Local Youth and Community The Santa Cruz County Youth Action Network and United Way of Santa Cruz County are “popping up” at various Santa Cruz County destinations to offer the community a new, fun, and meaningful way to bring youth, community members, and youth-serving organizations together. The Youth Action Network Pop-Up events are family-friendly and focus on offering games, activities, food, and fun for middle – high school youth while connecting them with local youth programs, resources, and community leaders. The Youth Action Network consists of organizations focusing on youth well-being and committed to amplifying youth voices from across the County. The Youth Action Network acknowledges that there are so many outstanding programs within each community and want to support youth in connecting with programs to help them thrive and step into their greatness. The COVID-19 pandemic has had an impact on the well-being of many teens resulting in loss of connection with friends and caring adults, impact on mental health, and access to after-school programming. Youth Action Network jurisdictional representatives, which includes elected officials and county staff, have been partnering with the Network to support and champion the pop-ups in various regions of the County (Santa Cruz, Scotts Valley, Live Oak, Capitola, and Watsonville) to support youth in connecting with their community and each other. “The Pop-Ups are a fun way for youth to find a way to engage with their community and find new opportunities and friends”, says Natalia, Harbor High School Student and Vice-President of YAN Steering Committee. The Youth Action Network includes elected officials including mayors and city councilmembers. “I look forward to the opportunity to gather with local youth and agencies to discuss interests, share opportunities, and learn how we can support one another”, says Donna Lind, Mayor of Scotts Valley and YAN jurisdictional representative. “This is an opportunity for us as a network to come together in a new way to support youth in our community. We are all striving toward youth-well-being and we want to let youth know that we care and that their voices matter”, says Amanda Gamban, Youth Action Network Community Impact Coordinator with United Way. The Live Oak Pop-Up event will be held on June 29, 2022, at Shoreline Middle School. The Watsonville Pop-Up event will take place on July 27th at the Watsonville City Plaza. To find additional details about the events, please go online at www.unitedwaysc.org/yan_popups. Youth Action Network Pop-Up events were made possible by community partnerships with City of Capitola, the City of Santa Cruz, City of Watsonville, the City of Scotts Valley, Cradle to Career, Live Oak School District, London Nelson Community Center, Santa Cruz Teen Center, and UC Santa Cruz. Local businesses or community organizations interested in partnering or getting involved in the pop-up events can visit online at www.unitedwaysc.org/yan_popups or email Amanda Gamban at agamban@unitedwaysc.org ### United Way of Santa Cruz CountyUnited Way of Santa Cruz County works to create a healthy, thriving, and safe community for all. UWSCC is leading a movement to focus donated resources on programs that have significant impact within our county; to move the needle by addressing our greatest needs. For more information, please visit www.unitedwaysc.org The Youth Action Network consists of organizations focusing on youth well-being, leadership, and committed to amplifying youth voices from across the County. For more information about the Santa Cruz County Youth Action Network, please visit http://www.sccyan.org/meet-the-network.html Read More Parenting Articles

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Kermit

growingupsc — Thu, 02 Jun 2022 22:24:47 +0000

Kermit – the Bikemobile By Santa Cruz Public Libraries Mission Statement: To have fun, to meet the community wherever the community may gather, and to provide library services wherever possible. Kermit arrived in Santa Cruz in 2016 and was made possible through a Pacific Library Partnership grant, the Burgeon Group, and the Spokesman Bicycles shop in Santa Cruz. You can check out books, get a library card, and talk with a library staff person whenever Kermit is out and about. Kermit can usually be found at community events, farmer’s markets, parades, and, sometimes, helping the many Little Free Libraries by providing donated paperbacks. And, although Kermit is a bit frog-like, he doesn’t like rain so you won’t often see him in November through March. Kermit’s Schedule

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June’s Local Artist

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 18:01:01 +0000

Madisyn Huntress Hein I’m a recent SLVHS graduate attending Cabrillo College. I’ve lived all over the Santa Cruz Mountain areas. My interest in art started at a young age, and my first art teacher, Lisa Alexander, sparked my passion for creating art. She was encouraging and helped me believe in myself as an artist at a young age. Many of my skills are self-taught, with some instruction from various high school art teachers. I paint mostly plant life and landscapes. I also enjoy focusing on bringing my imagination of fairies and magic to life. I’ve been oil painting on and off since my sophomore year of high school. While I am majoring in psychology and not art, it’s still a large part of my life. I’ve started learning ceramics recently, which has been a bit of a learning curve. The people who work at the Santa Cruz Mountain Art Center are helpful and friendly. I’ve also recently taken up painting classes at the art center. I generally paint from photos taken while out and about at the beach or hiking in the woods. Most of the pieces I’ve done recently have taken about a month to a month and a half to complete. Read More Local Artist Articles

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About to Pop?

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 17:55:11 +0000

The Santa Cruz Real Estate Bubble By Seb Frey The talk of a real estate bubble has been getting louder and louder for the past several years. Lately, it seems to have reached, if not a fevered pitch, something of a dull roar. Memories of the 2008 mortgage crisis and subsequent collapse of real estate prices linger. Prices are now considerably higher than they were at the prior peak, and housing affordability is as bad as it has ever been, and quite possibly worse. It seems everyone is asking, “Are these prices sustainable?” and “should I wait for the market to correct before I buy a home here?” Those are two very good questions! If you’re looking for answers to them, unfortunately you’re going to have to keep looking, because I can’t pretend to answer them in any way that you should rely on. Whether you should buy, sell, or hold any real estate in Santa Cruz county is a very consequential decision, and getting to that determination is a path for your steps alone. I’m just here to provide some information for you which I hope will be of some value if you are struggling to figure out what to do in today’s Santa Cruz real estate market. I’ll begin by addressing the question of pricing sustainability. Historically, real estate prices in Santa Cruz have marched inexorably upward…with periods where prices have retreated for brief periods of time. Even in the real estate collapse of 2008-2009, prices really only went down for about 18 months before hitting bottom in 2010, and they’ve been climbing (sometimes lurching) upwards ever since. It’s important to also understand that much of the increase in home prices is just garden variety price inflation. A dollar bill you had lying around in 1984 is equivalent to $2.78 in 2022 money. In 1984, California’s median home price was $114,260 – which means that adjusted for inflation, the California median price “should be” around $317,600 today. Yet Zillow reports that the California median home price is about $790,000, more than double the increase that can be attributed to inflation. This does beg the question, how can prices keep up? The answer is simple. Home price increases have exceeded the rise of inflation because income increases have exceeded the rate of inflation. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the median California income in 1984 – in 2021 dollars – was $25,287, and the median income in 2020 was $77,358 – a 300% increase, which is adjusted for inflation. California home prices have grown about 250% greater than inflation over the past 35-40 years…but inflation-adjusted incomes have grown 300% in that time. This helps to show how and why home prices have risen to where they are today.Regardless, I am absolutely certain that prices will come down again – but what I can’t tell you is when, by how much, or how long they will stay down. And crucially, I can’t tell you how much more they will rise between today and whenever they do finally retreat. I will say though that I am not expecting that we will see a drop in home prices in Santa Cruz county this year. A lot of people are very incredulous that home prices will continue to rise, given how far they’ve gone up recently, especially in the face of the sharp – historically sharp, actually – increases in mortgage rates that we have seen over the past couple of months. However, I have yet to see any forecast which predicts that national or California home prices will decrease this year. Just today I read an article that said CoreLogic, a major real estate analytics and data services company, put out a new report predicting that the median U.S. home price will increase 5.9% between March 2022 and March 2023. That same CoreLogic report analyzed 392 U.S. housing markets in April of this year, looking to determine the likelihood that there will be price decrease in them over the next 12 months. In the Bay Area, every county – including Santa Cruz – registered a “low” probability (20-40%) chance of a price decrease in that time. However, it should be noted, Monterey county was rated as having a “Medium” chance of home price decreases, in the 40-50% range. And that leads me to that second question: should you wait to buy, in anticipation of the inevitable correction in Santa Cruz housing prices? I’m not a big believer in market timing – in most cases, if you’re able to successfully time the market, you owe it to luck. But knowing that real estate prices have tended to rise over the long term, and will likely continue to rise until we reach the Zombie Apocalypse, should help inform your decision. You may want to wait … but you may not want to wait too long. Seb Frey was the 2019 President of the Santa Cruz County Association of REALTORS. He’s been selling homes locally since 2003 and is the author of Get It Sold! (available at TheSoldBook.com) and stars on his own YouTube channel at YouTube.com/SebFreyTV Read More Parenting Articles

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Summer Reading

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 17:39:30 +0000

Avoid the Slide by diane cowen Summer Slide is the term used to describe learning loss that children experience over the summer when they are out of school and away from structured learning activities. Children and teens who do not read over the summer lose some of the achievement gains made during the previous school year. These summer setbacks are particularly problematic because early education serves as the foundation for the achievement, work habits, and perceptions about self-confidence and schooling that impact performance for years to come. The Santa Cruz Public Libraries (SCPL) can help with that! The Library Summer Reading Program provides educational, fun enrichment activities, and they’re free! The 2022 Summer Reading program kicks off on June 1 and runs through July 31! Throughout June and July, SCPL will be offering a variety of performer events, including circus, magic, and puppet shows, dancers, drumming, and a virtual interactive bilingual presentation featuring Delrita the Elephant. In addition, the Library will provide Summer Reading Outreach Pop-up Programming events through the “Lunch at the Library” grant administered by the California State Librarian. Library staff will visit six sites that provide summer meals to students throughout the county, with free books, giveaways, and reading logs. The Friends of the Santa Cruz Public Libraries provided additional funds for this program. Santa Cruz Public Libraries partnered with Atlantis Fantasyworld, Penny Ice Creamery, and the Friends of the Santa Cruz Public Libraries to offer incentives that encourage children and teens to read. Upon signing up, children and teens receive an Atlantis Fantasyworld coupon they can use to select a book. After completing 5 hours of reading, kids ages 11 and under receive a free book to keep, and teens receive a backpack with goodies. After reading 20 hours, kids and teens receive a Free Scoop Coupon from Penny Ice Creamery. They also receive raffle tickets for completing activities incorporating STEAM, outdoor exploration, and creative expression while providing opportunities for practicing critical thinking, collaboration, and communication. The Library’s extensive collections of print, ebooks, audiobooks, and graphic novels, along with lists of recommended books for all ages, makes it easy to find reading materials of interest. Parents are encouraged to read together with their children and participate in the Adult Summer Reading Program. Incentives include an SCPL Bookbag and raffle prizes, including a family pass to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Adults who sign up by June 17 will be entered into a drawing to win tickets to Santa Cruz Shakespeare. The drawing will take place the week of June 21. The Summer Reading Program locations may vary from previous years as Garfield Park, Branciforte, Live Oak, and Scotts Valley branches prepare to reopen and the Aptos Branch Library and Live Oak Annex construction begins. The projects are part of the long-term vision to provide safe, accessible spaces with modern features at all branches, thanks to Measure S, the 2016 library bond act, and fundraising by Friends of the Santa Cruz Public Libraries. Stunning new library spaces have already become hubs of community life for Felton, La Selva Beach, Capitola, and Boulder Creek. On June 11, the historic Garfield Park branch in Santa Cruz will celebrate its grand opening with festivities from 12 – 4 p.m. Once threatened with closure and now beautifully renovated to serve the 21st century, Garfield Park is ready to welcome a new generation of visitors! The Scotts Valley branch anticipates reopening in mid-July, the Live Oak branch in August, and Branciforte in September. Aptos Branch Library and the Live Oak Annex are under construction, with openings expected in 2023. The Downtown Santa Cruz Branch Library is the most significant library improvement planned for opening in 2026. Desperately needing replacement, the branch is part of a new mixed-use project combining library services with affordable housing and child care — a forward-thinking, sustainable opportunity for our community. Everyone can participate in Summer Reading using the paper log or the Beanstack App. Visit any open branch of the Santa Cruz Public Libraries to sign up or go online. For a complete list of all the Summer Reading Program activities and locations, see the Santa Cruz Public Libraries Summer Reading Program page at SantaCruzpl.org/srp. Read More Parenting Articles

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Young Volunteers

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 17:34:29 +0000

Proving That Anyone Can Make a Difference How a Group of Third Graders is Taking Small Steps to Change the World By Kim Hickok It’s amazing how all the kids have come together to be a part of Be the Change, and they’re very proud of it. For the most part, Aarav Patel is a typical third grader. He’s a little shy, enjoys playing video games, swimming, and playing tennis. But what makes this 8-year-old stand out from his peers is his unresounding desire to make the world a better place. “I was, and still am, inspired by Gandhi and his passion for wanting to change the world,” Patel said. So when Patel noticed bullying and unkindness happening at his school, he wanted to do something about it. Instead of being mean, he thought, what if everyone gave compliments to one another? He brought this idea to his classmates and set up a sheet for them to sign each time they gave a compliment to someone. Patel’s passion for kindness was contagious, and as more and more kids made an effort to give each other compliments, he said, “all the arguments, all the rude comments, all the bullying automatically stopped.” The movement garnered the interest of all of his classmates, including his close friend Ethan Fritz, 9, who said it makes him feel good to know he is helping make the world a kinder place. “You can make a big difference by inspiring others,” Fritz said. “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” a quote often attributed to Gandhi, inspired Patel and his classmates to continue what they decided to call the “Be the Change” movement. “Our motto is that if we all change ourselves, and try to be the best version of ourselves, the world would change automatically,” Patel said. The kids aimed to spread their good will to the environment next, as they decided to pick up trash around the campus and discourage littering. By doing so, making choices that are good for the environment has become a habit for many students, Patel said, which has only further motivated these ambitious youngsters.“If we all work together and try harder, we can make the world a better place,” Fritz said, “and everyone will be happy.” Recently, one night as Patel was watching the news with his parents, he learned about the war in Ukraine. Like so many people, he was concerned to hear about the kids who were in danger or were evacuating, sometimes without their parents. “I felt scared and I felt sad for them,” he said. “I knew I couldn’t make that much of a difference but I at least wanted to try.” So Patel and his fellow “Be the Change” leaders initiated a UNICEF donation drive. The students started by setting up a donation booth during drop off and pickup times, and then expanded their efforts by involving every class at the school. “All 18 of us split up and we went grade to grade talking about this and spreading awareness,” he said. Encouraged by the warm reception they were receiving, the students cast their net into the broader community and set up a donation booth at the Farmers Market on Saturdays. So far, Gateway School’s student-run “Be the Change” movement has raised over $1,000 to aid Ukrainian children. “This was not possible without the help of my friends,” Patel said, “they have a huge passion for this.” “It’s amazing how all the kids have come together to be a part of Be the Change, and they’re very proud of it,” said Patel’s mother, Niyati Patel. The young group of passionate do-gooders doesn’t plan to stop their growing movement anytime soon. “We want to keep going until most of the worldwide problems have been solved.” Patel said, unfettered by such a lofty goal. “We’re very enthusiastic.” Read More Parenting Articles

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Erin Buchla

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 17:23:07 +0000

Cruising to a New Career Suki Wessling Erin Buchla, like anyone who worked with small children for many years, is good at problem-solving in the moment. Faced with a devastated customer, a boy who had lost his Pokémon cards after leaving them on top of the car, she got to work. “I invited all these parents to come out with their kids and bring a couple Pokémon cards,” Erin recalls. “We put them out on this 14-foot table and the kids all shared a couple cards with the boy that lost them and he was just so happy.” Erin owns Cruise Coffee Cafe in Scotts Valley—a drive-through and a full café—but this second career in coffee wasn’t part of the plan. “Originally I just took the classes because I had a 2-year-old and I wanted to learn how to be a good mom,” Erin says of her first foray into Early Childhood Education at Cabrillo. “And I realized, Oh my gosh, I love kids!” With a small son in tow, Erin got her degree and worked first as a preschool teacher and then as a nanny with an accidental specialization in twins. Erin says that she was drawn to the work because of the big impact her little interactions would have. “Throughout the years, I realized, Wow, you’re really making a difference in the development of this child and you’re creating good humans to go out into the world.” Erin’s focus as a teacher and as a nanny was on helping young children develop the most important skills they would need in life—skills that might surprise potential clients. “When I was getting interviewed for nanny positions, parents would say, ‘Oh, do you work on their ABCs? Do you work on their 123’s?’ I said, that’s not my style of nannying. I work on conflict resolution, anger management, just basically being a good person!” Erin had to change professions when her doctor said no more carrying kids on her hips. Her son, now 32 and married, helped her. First she started the drive-in, and a year ago she expanded to the café location. But there was no way that Erin would move into a world of adults without focusing on the kids. During the Covid lockdowns, she offered fun events at the drive-through such as a donut hole event where families would drive to each station to get their hole and toppings. During Christmas, they hosted a hot chocolate day where the kids could drive through and get free hot chocolate and a map of Christmas lights.Her sit-down café features rotating arts and crafts projects, card-making, and special events like flower arranging—all free for the kids. The café’s one-year anniversary on June 12 will feature face-painting and hula-hoop training. “It keeps me connected to where my heart is. You know, I love coffee. I love my cafe. But I miss my children, so it’s a good compromise, for sure.” Visit Cruise Coffee Cafe at 246 Kings Village in Scotts Valley. Be sure to stop by June 12 for their kid-friendly anniversary event! Suki Wessling is a local writer, educator, and radio host with two grown children. Read and listen at Babblery.com Read More Moms Who Make a Difference Articles

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Postpartum

Laura Maxson — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 15:35:34 +0000

Postpartum OCD? by Laura Maxson, LM The first months after birth are filled with many new and important baby-related tasks and broken sleep patterns – a stressful combination for most. Parenting can be overwhelming, and teary moments are common, but most parents and care providers are on the lookout for moods that swing too low or hang on for too long. Postpartum depression is on just about everyone’s radar nowadays.Santa Cruz County’s Perinatal Mental Health Coalition (PMHC) provides information and support to parents, and those who work with parents, around mental health and wellness in the childbearing years. Their website SpeakUpSantaCruz.org provides families and professionals with local information for referrals, as well as links to the amazing resources of Postpartum Support International. Part of the PMHC outreach during Mental Health Month this May, included a continuing education presentation to members about a specific aspect of Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Mood Disorders known as Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or pOCD. While mental health assessments are taking place at prenatal, postpartum, and well-baby visits to screen for depression, signs of pOCD can be harder to recognize for both the provider and the parent. There are similarities to “regular” OCD where we think of excessive hand washing, checking the burners on the stove etc., but pOCD is a little different. Obsessive (intrusive) thoughts or images can begin suddenly. These thoughts or images that feel very out of character might be sexual or violent in nature or focus on sanitizing germs or other worries. These thoughts feel horrifying to the person experiencing them. Compulsive thoughts or actions are then performed to try to control or balance the anxiety caused by the obsessive thoughts or images. Repetitive hand washing is more obvious, but compulsivity might look like following rigid rules, checking for signs of harm, avoiding being with the baby, over researching, or seeking reassurance. Disorder means it is life disrupting. Most will need help to bring things back into order. While just about every new mother has had an occasional bizarre or scary thought – fear of dropping, hurting, or in some way endangering their baby – most of these thoughts are fleeting. But for a small percentage of new mothers, these thoughts or images can feel very intense and disturbing, especially as they begin to persist and intrude on normal thoughts and behaviors. pOCD can be harder to recognize because the compulsive behaviors may not be notable without knowing that it’s being done in response to intrusive thoughts. What can look like the behavior of any nervous new mother can be masking the panic of someone trying to deal with a horrifying inner dialogue. A normally competent person can be in utter disbelief that this is happening to them. Healthcare professionals who experienced pOCD themselves and had a hard time recognizing and seeking treatment for it, shine a light on the difficulty parents can face including undue pain and delay in seeking help. Good people – really, amazingly wonderful parents – can develop pOCD and not know that it’s happening. Intrusive thoughts or images that persist become more and more problematic. Often the thoughts are so awful the idea of telling someone about them can feel just as scary as the thoughts themselves. A mother might think, “What if they take my baby away or lock me up in a psych ward?” Postpartum psychosis is rare and involves dangerous thoughts that make sense to the parent who feels compelled to carry them out. Psychosis is an emergency that needs immediate intervention. pOCD is different from psychosis in that pOCD thoughts are generally appalling to the parent who then enlists compulsive thoughts and actions to relieve the anxiety brought on by the offending thoughts. Thoughts and feelings are not actions. pOCD does need to be assessed and treated in order to heal. Untreated, pOCD can result in: Baby care and feeding problems caused by avoidance of touching, being responsible for, or being alone with the baby. Relationship stress caused by extreme anxiety. Problems bonding due to avoiding the baby or baby related tasks. Signs of depression such as sadness, loss of interest in people and activities, sleep loss or excessive sleepiness, loss of appetite, suicidal thinking, hopelessness, helplessness, and lack of self-care. There are medications and treatments that can reduce pOCD symptoms. Understanding the issue is the first step for parents, as well as care providers. Finding knowledgeable counselors offering treatment can be a challenge, but the PMHC is helping to bring awareness and resources to this often-hidden form of postpartum mood disorder. Resources and Support -SpeakUpSantaCruz.orghttp://SpeakUpSantaCruz.orgPrenatal/postpartum support – Birthnet.orgWednesdays 5:30pm online pOCD support group http://bit.ly/FindSupportGrouppOCD Handout –https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Postpartum-and-Perinatal-OCD.pdf Read More Parenting Articles

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Defining Gender

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 15:27:04 +0000

Banned in Florida, but Freely Talked About Here Gender Isn’t Always What You Think It Is By Suki Wessling Most of today’s parents grew up with what’s called the gender binary, which assumes the existence of two distinct genders. Most of today’s kids learn about changing gender norms from their peer groups, for whom gender is seen as fluid and as a spectrum. But for many families when they’re at home, gender is simply not an issue…until it is. “My child is 14 and was assigned female at birth, and that’s how we raised this child—as a female, you know? Because that’s how it’s done.”Goldi’s child came out as nonbinary (neither completely masculine nor feminine) at 13. “He was immediately ready to socially transition” “He wanted me to tell everyone: he wanted the teachers to know on the Zoom, he wanted grandparents to know. It was just like, tell them my name, and there was no ‘I don’t know’.” Isabelle (a pseudonym) had a child who had shown a preference for masculine presentation since first attending transitional kindergarten, but it was during the initial pandemic shutdown at the age of 6 that he asked to be referred to as a boy.“The issue of gender hadn’t occurred to us yet.” “I remember my daughter at the time telling me about one older student who was using they/them pronouns and referring to themselves as nonbinary. I thought, ‘I don’t even know what that is.’ Two years later my child said, ‘I don’t feel like a girl or a boy and I want to change my name and cut my hair.’ None of it was shocking but it was surprising to me.” Grey (a pseudonym) and her husband had suspected that their child was gay, but were taken by surprise when the teen asserted a nonbinary identity just before high school. Is it biological or is it cultural? Is it a new binary or a spectrum?The first question that comes to many adults’ minds is where their child’s wish to change their gender expression comes from. Research shows that young children who persist in asserting a gender identity different from the one assigned at birth almost universally keep that identity through adulthood. In fact, studies of transgender adults’ brains show clear affinities for their gender of preference.“Our real estate agent asked me, ‘Where do you think he got this idea from?’” remembers Isabelle, whose young child has expressed a persistent gender identity. “It definitely felt offensive when she asked.” However, many young children don’t know how to verbalize what they are feeling. These children are more likely to try to fit in and then come out during the tumultuous years of puberty when so many other changes are happening.“My child was able very quickly to start high school with a new gender identity and new name,” Goldi says, remembering how quickly her fears were calmed after her teen’s sudden announcement. “After being at home for two years in the pandemic, I think it was really easy for my child.” But the widening of the gender spectrum to include nonbinary and other genders has come so quickly that there’s no knowing how many of these teens will stay exactly with the gender they express first.Grey, for example, doesn’t feel that she has any problem with her child’s expression of gender. But because her child seemed content as a girl, Grey wonders if her teen will drift to a more standard gender expression as they mature. “I come from a very liberal family, very supportive of gay rights and trans people, but this idea that there’s a middle, a not-male not-female, has been harder for us to adjust to.” Acceptance and support makes a huge differenceFor many parents, acceptance is the default and is non-negotiable. However, parents who find the new gender norms harder to swallow are often swayed by the clarity of mental health research: Children whose families accept and validate their gender expression show much better mental health outcomes. In fact, studies show that around 40% of transgender young adults whose families are not supportive attempt suicide. “I’d much rather have an alive transgender child than a dead daughter, you know?” Goldi says matter-of-factly. “We all just tried to come as quickly as we could to a place of acceptance.” That said, Goldi reminds parents that it isn’t necessarily going to be easy for them. “As I’ve learned more about kids coming out in this way, I think all of the emotions and thoughts and worries and concerns I had were very, very normal for a parent.” “I consider myself to be progressive and supportive, but I still struggled, I cried,” Isabelle remembers. “I loved his name that I gave him; I loved having a daughter.” Will changing norms foster more acceptance of gender variation?Goldi laughs when she recounts giving her child a “fancy French name” at birth. Naming aside, she could cite example after example where she and her children’s teachers put huge gender assumptions on the children. Isabelle’s experience with a young trans child has led her to notice all that gender pressure. “The tomboy girls think the girly girls are lame and they’re like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to play with these girly girls.’ Some of that is internalized sexism.”Further, she points out that boys are subject to much stricter demands than girls, who can wear jeans and a t-shirt or a dress as they desire. “Boys are teased or misgendered if they’re wearing pink, purple, if they have long hair.” Grey criticizes the media for focusing on “sexuality” when reporting on how gender is taught in schools. She points out that young children hear about “love” and “families,” but not sex. “When we hear someone’s gay, people immediately picture them naked, instead of, ‘you’re gay, you love this person’,” Grey points out. “It immediately goes to genitals. That’s making me crazy. [Gender] just can’t be separated from sex for some people.” These moms show that the more adults learn about the gender spectrum, the more they understand where young people’s attitudes are coming from. “My niece just had a gender reveal party and I just laughed,” Grey recounts. “Congratulations on what you think is a boy. You just never know what you’re gonna get!” Resources:Our local TransFamilies Support Group offers support to parents: TransFamiliesCA.org The Diversity Center offers youth groups and information: DiversityCenter.org The Trevor Project offers trustworthy factual information and support for queer young people: TheTrevorProject.org What is gender? What is sex? What is sexuality? Experts say that gender is what’s between your ears (how you think about yourself), sex is what’s between your legs (usually identied at birth), and sexuality is how you relate to others sexually (which can be fluid). But scientifically speaking, none of these categories is as solid as you might think. Gender: Although some people stay firmly in one area of gender expression, societies have always included people whose gender expression was harder to define or depended on context. Sex: Biologically speaking, it is an extreme simplification to say that there are two sexes. Intersex people (who have ambiguous genetalia or other hormone-related variances) are as common as redheads. Sexuality: Although a solid percentage of any society is firmly hetero/homosexual, people exist on a continuum and change throughout their lives. There is simply no evidence for all people having a single “sexual preference” throughout their lives. Read More Parenting Articles

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What is Gender

growingupsc — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 15:17:53 +0000

by Mikayla SHults This month, I asked transgender, nonbinary, and cisgender kids what gender means to them. In the past few years, it has become easier for kids to express their gender in the ways that they want freely. To many adults, being trans seems like a trend that children will not be consistent with. In the cases where kids seem to be flip-flopping between being nonbinary and transgender, what is really happening is a kid figuring out how they want to express themself and what feels right. When adults are not well informed, whether that be basic knowledge of the LQBTQ community or how to support their trans children properly, it can be very confusing when their child comes out to them. Even when a parent is understanding, finding out that the person you have raised in a certain way wants to express themselves differently can be hard to grasp. Making mistakes along this journey is completely normal, and everyone appreciates an adult who is willing to learn how to be more accepting of transgender youth. That is why I asked both trans and cis people what gender means to them personally and how they think adults could be more open to trans kids. Gender is a way you express or define yourself. Adults can listen and try to understand instead of shutting them down. Lucille | Age 16She/Her Gender is a spectrum that’s based on self-expression, not sex. Someone’s gender expression can be related to their sex, but it’s still their personal interpretation of what it means to be that gender. Audrey | Age 17She/Her To me, gender is what you identify as. It doesn’t matter what you were born as or what you like to wear; if you say that you identify as something, that’s what you are. A man wearing a dress doesn’t make him any less of a man. Adults can be more accepting by simply listening. Use the name and pronouns that someone tells you to use and be willing to learn when they try to teach you something. Jamie | Age 17They/Them Being trans is a big part of my identity. I find myself discussing gender pretty often. It’s remarkable how much I have to debate my own existence. Adults need to listen to trans youth more instead of talking over them. No one knows more about trans people than trans people, so the best thing is just to let us have a voice. Also, the insensitive “he, they, it, whatever” jokes need to stop for the love of God. Asher | Age 17He/Him I think gender is a form of expression between femininity and masculinity. Sometimes, people like to identify with one side more than the other or not even identify with it at all. I feel like acceptance comes from accepting yourself first and finding your own definition of gender. For example, I identify as female, but I understand that gender is just one of those funny human things we created. Claire | Age 17She/Her To me gender is a part of identity, largely influenced by social characteristics that our changing culture has created. I think adults can try and modernize their way of thinking when it comes to gender in order to be more accepting of the youth. Caleb | Age 16He/Him Gender is how you feel in your head. It doesn’t always line up with your sex. Men and women are the most common but it’s a spectrum. It’s how you feel comfortable identifying/presenting. Listen when we tell you something makes us uncomfortable. Do not ask for someone’s dead name. You can probably ask a question, but if you wouldn’t ask a cis person the same thing, google it. The internet is full of information. Sage | Age 17They/Them

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