June 2020 - Growing Up in Santa Cruz

Grad 2020

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 20:21:43 +0000

June Coloring

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:57:01 +0000

In the Mountains

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Grief

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:28:59 +0000

Walk Gently with Grief BY LINDA KAY Shortly after the Shelter in Place order was issued, I ventured to the grocery store. In almost every aisle there were employees wiping down surfaces, trying to keep shoppers free from the coronavirus. On one hand I was grateful that the store was taking this threat so seriously, on the other hand it made me terribly sad. Tears started falling. The reality of our new reality seemed to hit home that day. I went home and didn’t want to do anything. I finally laid down and took a long nap. This is not me. This is not how I generally respond to life. Then it occurred to me. This is grief. It dawned on me that we are all experiencing grief. Grief isn’t just what we experience after the death of someone we love. Grief comes with the loss of anything that is important to us. I was grieving the loss of freedoms that I had always known. Others are grieving the loss of jobs, the loss of finances, the loss of health and perhaps the loss of a loved one. I dare to say that there is no one that hasn’t been touched by some sort of loss, and for many, they have experienced multiple losses.Grief is a strange thing. It expresses itself in a variety of ways: shock, anger, helplessness, profound sadness, depression, acceptance – and then repeat. But one doesn’t experience those feelings in a specific order, and one can’t check it off a list and say, “Okay, I’m over that emotion”. Grief catches you at unexpected times and is triggered by a picture, a smell, a song, or anything that holds a memory of life before. In the United States we pride ourselves in being self-reliant, productive, efficient, in control. When we unexpectantly find ourselves in a state of loss we don’t know how to handle it. Those who are grieving have a hard time focusing, being productive, they tire quickly physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s important to recognize that we ourselves are grieving as well as those around us. It causes us to be more gentle with ourselves and others. A friend shared the following poem which is a good reminder of what is needed. Walking with GriefDo not hurryAs you walk with grief;it does not help the journeyWalk slowly,pausing oftendo not hurryas you walk with grief.Be not disturbedby memories that come unbidden.Swiftly forgive;and let Christ speak for youunspoken words.Unfinished conversationwill be resolved in Him.Be not disturbed.Be gentle with the onewho walks with grief.If it is you,be gentle with yourself.Swiftly forgive,walk slowly,pausing often.Take time, be gentleas you walk with grief. Celtic Night PrayersFrom the Northumbria CommunityMarshall Pickering, London, 1996Pages 59-60 Many cultures around the world have rituals and traditions that recognize the need to grieve and express one’s losses. Throughout most of the US there are funerals, viewings and wakes. However, the West Coast culture tries to ignore death and loss. Funerals are replaced with memorial services and even those are pushed off for a more “convenient” time. But therapists tell us that if we don’t deal with our losses, we actually prolong the grief and we open ourselves up to “compounded grief”. The experience of compounded grief is when the most current loss brings up former unresolved losses and one finds themselves grieving old losses as if grieving them for the first time. In a way we are all experiencing compounded grief of a different nature as we have all lost multiple things all at the same time. Many of us find ourselves in survival mode. We try to power through. Many moms are trying to be Super Mom right now, as they have felt pressured into providing the best home education possible for their children and now they’re looking for ways to engage their children for the summer months. While it is admirable to try to give your children the best, it is important to give yourself some grace. As posted by tinybuddha.com, “And if today, all you did was hold yourself together, I am proud of you.” And a therapist friend adds, “And if not, there is always tomorrow.” While we are in this period of transition and uncertainty this is an excellent time to ask some of the deeper questions: Where do I find my identity? What do I value? Answering those questions now will be benefit us in the future. When we are stressed it is human nature to focus on those things in which we have no control – the coronavirus, the lack of ventilators, masks, the action of others, the lack of toilet paper! It is more important to focus on those things that we can control – the amount of time we spend watching and reading the news, social distancing, our attitude, self-care (healthy eating, resting, exercise) and being kind and gentle to others. Viktor E. Frankl, who was held captive in a German concentration camp, experienced great loss. He said his hardest day was when they demanded his wedding ring. But while suffering as a prisoner he penned these words, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” How will you choose to respond to your losses? Mari Harrower, retired Marriage and Family Therapist, suggests that writing in a journal may help one to process thoughts and feelings. She suggests taking a two-pronged approach. First, be personal and subjective and express your feelings. But secondly, be an objective observer. Record statistics, changes in culture, almost as a news reporter. While it can be grim, it also helps to remember that we are not alone in our present circumstances and it may prove to be interesting reading for a future generation. But mostly be kind and gentle, to yourself and to those around you.Many of the thought shared are gleaned by a podcast in which Mari Harrower shared on fear and anxiety. You may hear the whole podcast at subsplash.com/theodyssey/media

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Kitchen Witchery

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:23:50 +0000

A Little Kitchen Witchery BY GRETCHEN HEIMSOTH I make magic in my kitchen!! Think I am kidding? The love I infuse in my food and herb garden provides me with an abundant supply of little, fragrant green soldiers, and there is some serious alchemy. Many Generals to name in this culinary army, rosemary, thyme, the powerhouse oregano, cumin, garlic, cloves, the list is endless. We are going to focus on four common kitchen herbs. It may be a little counter-intuitive, but dried herbs offer higher antioxidant values than their fresh counterparts. Antioxidants are compounds that inhibit oxidation (think rust) from free radicals (a host of angry molecules we get bombarded with from food sources and environment) in our cells. We use a scale to rate a food’s antioxidant value; it is called the Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity, or ORAC scale. A plant’s essential compounds start to degrade from the time picked to the time you use them. This applies mostly to store-bought herbs. If you are growing fresh herbs, pick right before use for peak benefit. Rosemary– Most of us are familiar with rosemary’s pine-like, minty-citrus aroma. Some of the compounds that lend this herb to be so beneficial are carsonic acid- showing in studies to protect the brain from free radicals. It also contains rosmarinic acid, camphor, caffeic acid, and a host of others. These compounds are showing to be anti-inflammatory and potentially anti-cancer. Studies have shown rosemary essential oil can stimulate hair growth. Rosemary has one of the highest ORAC values of 165,280. Oregano. It is a powerhouse of beneficial compounds! One teaspoon of dried oregano can provide 8% of your vitamin K! It contains the compounds carvacrol and thymol, which are antibacterial, have killed cancer cells in test tube studies, and have even rendered norovirus inactive in another study, showing anti-viral capacity. Carvacrol is an anti-inflammatory compound. Poultry growers have turned to oregano oil in place of conventional antibiotics in the process of raising poultry to prevent different infections. It has an ORAC value of 175, 295! Thyme. This herb is a multifaceted healer. Anti-microbial, anti-fungal natural insecticide, anti-cancer potential, assist with respiratory stress, soothing inflamed skin. Packed with vitamin C and A. It’s also rich in thymol, occurring at a higher concentration in thyme then oregano. Thymol is in a class of naturally occurring compounds known as biocides. These compounds can destroy harmful organisms, such as infectious foodborne bacteria. A university team in South Korea showed that thymol was effective in killing tiger mosquito larvae. Researchers at the University of Turin found that it could kill candida Albicans, the cause of common yeast infections. Thyme is rich in many biologically active compounds. Borneol, linalool, myrcene. Before modern antibiotics, thyme was used to medicate bandages. Thyme has an ORAC value of 157,380. Cloves, an antioxidant powerhouse, coming in on the ORAC scale at 290,283! Known for its spicy, sweet aroma, the plant can thank that trait to its rich abundance of the compound eugenol. It makes up the bulk of cloves essential oil makeup, but the plant also contains an abundance of flavonoids, the pain killer methyl salicylate, organic acids, and terpenes. Cloves are antibacterial, showing in studies the capacity to kill E. coli bacteria. Cloves are beneficial in an oral care regimen because of this bacterial killing ability. In one study, showing the ability to stop two types of bacteria that contribute to gum disease. Cloves helped make up the famed thieves oil used during the plague, which has been studied and shown to be effective at killing pathogens. Humans have long known of the power of this plant. Herbs are an affordable, easy, and tasty way to add some nutritional bang to your diet! The herbs profiled here are some of the most powerful common ones but grab for any herbaceous host and know you will be exposing yourself to some beneficial compounds as well some heavy-handed flavor!!

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Not Labor

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:18:52 +0000

When it’s Not Really Labor BY LAURA MAXSON All labors are unique. Some begin with a bang and move right into active labor. Other times, contractions build for a bit, then stop with real labor starting hours, days or even weeks later. But what happens when poky contractions feel like labor, but persist often for several days, without kicking over to active labor? This is called prodromal labor. Because prodromal labor and normal labor have similar beginnings, it’s important for a person to pace themselves until active labor. How can we recognize real labor? Generally, it’s a labor pattern consisting of longer, stronger and closer contractions. Once the contractions are about four or five minutes apart, lasting one minute and consistent at that pace for more than an hour, the cervix has usually begun to dilate past 4 centimeters – heading toward active labor. Prodromal labor on the other hand can be days of labor limbo, not stopping but not really progressing. The reasons for prodromal labor aren’t fully understood. Perhaps this contraction pattern is doing other important work before dilating the cervix. Gently nudging the baby into a better position for birth, moving the cervix into a more forward position, or is just taking its time to efface (thin out). Whatever the cause, the key is to get through it with enough energy to cope with real labor. Approaching bedtime in not-quite-labor is best served with trying to rest. Forget about writing down contractions – sleep is more important. Turn off the birth music, blow out the candles, and lie down together with the lights out. Even if sleep is elusive, lying down with eyes closed and minimizing chitchat can result in some good rest, even with contractions every 10 minutes. A warm bath beforehand and a gentle back rub can also help. A care provider may also have suggestions for herbs, homeopathy or medicationsto help with sleep. During the day find a balance between activity and rest. Some people try acupuncture or prenatal massage to either pick things up or help with rest. Being in motion may help the baby find a better position. Pelvic rocks, movement on the labor ball, chiropractic, acupuncture, massage and just walking may cause a beneficial shift. While being active is good, overdoing it can result in sore muscles and spent energy that will be needed later for labor. Try not to waste any more energy on contractions than absolutely necessary. Fold the laundry, bake some cookies or watch a movie to stay busy/distracted. Lying around making toning sounds with every contraction makes the time drag and can be hard on the throat. Save it until you really need it. It’s often better to try to ignore contractions as long as possible. Staying hydrated and nourished is vital. Carbo-loading for the work ahead can be a good idea. Choose whole grains and foods that are easily digestible. It can help to try to have a bite of something at least every half-hour or so. Drink, drink, drink – dehydration can cause dysfunctional contractions. Water is great, but consuming fluids containing electrolytes such as recharge, gatorade, or coconut water will help your body keep going for the long haul. Keep the spirits up. Eat, drink, rest, – taking care of the body makes it easier to keep up the spirit. Know that the baby will be born! It only seems like forever. The last thing anyone in prodromal labor needs is phone calls and texts constantly asking if the baby is born. Designate someone to be contact person and give them updates to relay to others. Better yet, try not to announce the first contractions on social media. There are times to try to push a prodromal labor along, but prodromal labor alone generally isn’t a reason for induction. It is important to consider all circumstances in play, such as ruptured membranes, specific health concerns, or being well past the due date. The midwife or doctor will help with these decisions. Knowing about and recognizing a prodromal labor pattern can help families cope with this potentially frustrating situation with patience and action instead of fear and reaction. Check-in with a care provider, partner and/or labor support person for reassurance and to process fears; with anxieties relieved and good coping advice, parents often do best without fulltime attendance until active labor kicks in. Without extenuating circumstances, prodromal labor is not a cause for induction or augmentation and care providers kept in the loop will be less likely to feel the need to intervene when the parents are coping well. Birthnet.org for doulas, childbirth education, midwives and more

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Oral Health

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:09:26 +0000

Keeping Up with Oral Health During Shelter in Place BY SEPIDEH TAHJVAEI, CHIEF DENTAL OFFICER, FROM DIENTES COMMUNITY DENTAL Remember that list of things parents would remind kids to do before leaving for school? “Do you have your backpack? Lunch? Did you brush your teeth?” Now that kids do not leave for school, the trigger (leaving the house) no longer reminds us of the important habit of brushing teeth in the morning. Parents have had to make many adjustments to their parenting routines to maintain a balance during homeschooling and sheltering in place. For parents of very young children, brushing the teeth of a wiggly, cooped-up toddler may be the last thing a parent can manage. Often parents must pick and choose what to remind their kids about, and brushing teeth may be the activity that gets skipped—we completely understand. So why make oral health a priority among all the other significant challenges that families are facing right now? Children’s cavities are one of the most common chronic diseases for children. One in four kindergarteners in Santa Cruz has at least one untreated cavity. Baby teeth need to stay healthy to hold space for healthy permanent teeth and for proper jaw and speech development. Poor oral health during childhood can lead to serious oral health problems in adulthood. Children with poor oral health miss more days of school due to dental pain and appointments. The good news is that cavities are preventable! Before the shelter-in-place order, families could schedule and receive their regular cleanings at the dentist’s office. Children could get fluoride varnish during those visits, and cavities could be treated early. Many schools offered dental screenings and treatment onsite. Children participated in presentations and activities about good oral health at school. In other words, your children’s oral health care was supported outside of your home too. Once shelter-in-place orders began, dentists’ offices had to close, except for emergency appointments. As of May, however, dentist offices are beginning to reopen up their practices, following strict safety guidelines. Schools are still closed, which removes school-based dental services and oral health education for children. But all is not lost! Good oral hygiene begins at home, and it counts as great preventive dental care, too! Follow these simple tips to support good oral health at home: Continue to brush for 2 minutes, 2 times a day and floss.For young children: Help your young child brush their teeth (wiggles and all) and help them with flossing. Cavities can form in between the teeth, but flossing helps remove the sugars (plaque) that can build up and cause decay there. Flossing also helps to keep the gums healthy. Ideally, floss first before brushing.For older children: Remind (and remind again) your older children to floss and brush their teeth. Parents can model good oral health habits by brushing and flossing their own teeth with their children. Continue to limit sugary snacks and beverages and offer fresh fruits and vegetables, instead. The extra snacking and the sweets common during sheltering in place can increase the growth of cavity-causing bacteria. Call your dentist to ask about the services they are offering now. It is possible that you and your family can schedule appointments. Do not wait until a current dental issue becomes an emergency. Our homes are a great place to maintain our health during shelter in place. Even though this is such a challenging time, please remember that small, simple steps make big and important differences. Wash your hands often, floss, and brush for 2 minutes, 2 times a day. The good news is that cavities are preventable and good oral hygiene habits can last a lifetime. And remember that good oral health contributes to good overall health!

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Fire Safety

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 19:01:59 +0000

Fire Season is Upon Us Can the Firefighters Find, Access, and Defend Your Home Safely? BY FIRESAFE SANTA CRUZ EDUCATION & OUTREACH COMMITTEE Could firefighters find your home in the middle of the night and protect it from an advancing wildland fire? Fire season is rapidly approaching, and now is the time to make sure emergency responders can get to your home safely and quickly. Use the time you may now unexpectedly have available due to the coronavirus shelter-in-place orders to work around your home and driveway. Finding your homeIf you live in a rural area, make sure your primary access road is identified with a non-flammable sign and has your road’s name appears in at least 4” reflective green background white reflective letters visible from both directions of travel.Install signs showing street numbers with directional signs at all driveway splitsThe addressing standard is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_016_addressing_standard.pdf Accessing your homeCounty Fire Codes specify that all roadways be 20’ wide; however, driveways serving up to two homes may be 12’ wide. Vertical clearances of 15’ must be maintained to provide safe access for fire engines responding to your home.Maximum grade and vertical clearance standards is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_012_max_grade_vert_clearance.pdf Access roads and driveways that are 12’ wide need turnouts 12’ wide and 35’ long every 500’. This will prevent a fire engine from getting blocked when responding to your home at a time when you and your neighbors are attempting to evacuatFire agency turnout standard is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_013_turnouts.pdf Clear all flammable vegetation 10’ horizontally along access roads and driveways to prevent a fire from starting at the road and escaping into the wildland. This will also reduce fire hazards for responding fire engines. Maximum grade and vertical clearance standard is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_012_max_grade_vert_clearance.pdf Contact the FireSafe Santa Cruz Council for free chipping programs: firesafesantacruz.org/no-cost-chipping Does your driveway include a private bridge? Fire engines require a bridge be 20’ wide and be certified by a licensed and qualified engineer to make sure it is safe for heavy units responding to protect you and your home. Bridge load limit signs are required and the bridge must be recertified every ten years: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_008_bridge_load_limit_signs.pdf Can a fire engine safely turn around in your driveway? All driveways leading to structures 150’ from the main roadway must provide turnaround spaces, either T-style with a 16’ entry, or a circular space with minimum 40’ center line radius. Turnaround standards required by fire agencies is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/fpo_015_turnarounds_2.pdfIs your driveway is secured by a gate? For fire engine access, the gate can be no farther than 30’ from the public roadway and must be two feet wider than the driveway. If the gate is locked, you need to provide a key or code access for firefighters to open the gate and access your home quickly. The Santa Cruz County Fire gate standard is found here: santacruzcountyfire.com/fire_marshal/standards/county_gate_standard.pdf Is there a water source available for fire responders to protect your home?Provide clearly-visible reflective signage to help firefighters find your water sources in the middle of the night so that they can quickly and safely defend your home. You can obtain free blue reflective street dots: Santa Cruz County Fire Marshal’s Office (831) 335-6748. Does Your Community Have a Secondary Access Route?There is new law regarding secondary access for communities in high fire risk areas where there is no secondary access. Public Resources Code 4290.5 became effective January 1, 2020 and states: “On or before July 1, 2021, and every five years thereafter, the State Forestry and Fire Protection Board, in consultation with the State Fire Marshal, shall survey local governments, including counties, cities and fire districts, to identify existing subdivision (communities of 30 or more residences) located in a state responsibility area or a very high fire hazard severity zone, without a secondary egress route that are at significant fire risk. The Board, in consultation with the State Fire Marshal and the local government that identified the subdivision, shall develop recommendations to improve the subdivision’s fire safety. The recommendations may include, but are not limited to creating secondary access to the subdivision improving the existing access road or other additional fire safety measures. The Board must maintain a list of these at-risk subdivisions and reports on the status of the work being done to reduce the risks. Contact your local fire agency today if you live in a neighborhood with no secondary access for fire evacuations.” You can find good information about fire defensible space here: firesafesantacruz.org/defensible-spaceDo what you can to improve fire engine access to your property, and to reduce fire risk now while we are all still sheltering in our yards. For more information please visit firesafesantacruz.org

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Parenting Teens

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 18:52:07 +0000

Parenting Teens During Uncertain Times BY NICOLE M. YOUNG, MSW So much has happened – and not happened – in the last few months because of COVID-19. Schools and many child care facilities closed. Businesses closed or rapidly changed the way they serve customers. Parks and beaches closed, then reopened, then closed during peak hours of the day. Proms, graduations, birthday parties, and holiday gatherings were canceled, postponed, or changed to virtual gatherings. Many parents took on the additional job of overseeing distance learning, and many others lost their jobs and are struggling financially. Some days, the pace of change and level of stress caused by COVID-19 is dizzying and overwhelming. And although some parts of the community are starting to open up, the economic and emotional toll of COVID-19 is likely to last for a long time. Now, more than ever, is the time to take care of ourselves, our families, and our community. This monthly article provides tips for families raising children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Nicole,I’m a single dad with two teens. We’ve been sheltering in place and doing ok, but my kids stay in their rooms all day watching videos or playing video games. I’ve tried to have them follow a schedule, be active, and talk about their feelings, but they don’t like any of my suggestions. They say they’re fine and want to be left alone. The more I try to talk with them, the more they ignore me, and sometimes we end up arguing. What can I do?– Raúl Dear Raúl,I’m sure many parents of teens can relate! COVID-19 has disrupted daily life beyond belief, and even “the experts” can’t accurately predict what will happen next. The uncertainty about this pandemic has left many children, teens, and adults feeling anxious, frustrated, lonely, scared, and even angry. Your teens are probably trying to make sense of the disruptions to their lives. This is a good time to provide support, even if it doesn’t seem like they want it. Here are some tips to try:Take care of yourself. It’s like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others. Notice your own thoughts and feelings and take small breaks when you’re feeling stretched to your limits. Walk away from the stressful situation if you can. Take deep breaths, exercise, listen to music, or talk to someone supportive. Doing something you enjoy – even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time throughout the day – can help reduce your own stress and worries so that you the emotional energy to support your teens. Let your teens know you’re there for them. Some kids want to ask questions or talk about their feelings, while others need more time or encouragement before they’re ready to talk. And still others would rather express themselves through art, music, writing, cooking, playing games, or physical activity instead of talking. Even if your teens don’t want to have a deep discussion, acknowledge that COVID-19 has turned life upside down and it’s natural to have many thoughts and feelings about it. Let them know you’re available if they ever have questions or want to talk, then follow their lead. Have casual conversations about their interests. Ask what they want to eat, or ask them to tell you about a video they watched or the latest game they’re playing. This shows you value their opinions and interests – and most importantly, it keeps the lines of communication open. Provide support when they’re ready. If your teens ask a question or want to talk, give them your full attention. Listen and ask open-ended questions to find out what they already know and how they feel about it (“What have you heard?” or “How do you feel about that?”). Acknowledge and normalize their feelings (“It’s natural to be worried. A lot of people feel the same way.”). Then give them praise and encouragement to keep sharing what’s on their minds (“That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked it.”). FINAL THOUGHTSThe best thing we can do for our families is take care of our physical and emotional well-being and support each other. If your teens’ behaviors become more concerning (not sleeping or eating, more withdrawn or aggressive), reach out for additional support. Contact First 5 Santa Cruz at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org for Triple P parenting support or dial 211 (or text your zip code to 898-211) to find counseling and other resources. Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 16 and 20, who also manages Santa Cruz County’s Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, the world’s leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit triplep.first5scc.org, facebook.com/triplepscc or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.

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Zoom

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 18:41:06 +0000

Staying Safe on Zoom BY ERIK CHALHOUB Most teachers are relying on video conferencing platforms to instruct their students since COVID-19 has forced schools to go virtual. When used correctly, these platforms can be the next best thing to being there in person. Teachers can share slides and interact with their students through voice and text dialogue. But like everything in existence, it only takes a few bad apples to ruin the experience for the rest of us.Instances of “Zoom-bombing” have risen dramatically over the past few months. The term, named after the popular Zoom video conferencing platform, refers to when an uninvited user logs into a public meeting and displays inappropriate images, often criminal in nature.Such cybercriminals have been letting themselves in to meetings around the world, especially virtual classrooms. And it’s no different in Santa Cruz, one of the worst of which was when someone played child pornography during a Gilroy Town Hall meeting of more than 100 people, including the Chief of Police. Another took place at a Contra Costa meeting about Sexual Assault on April 30, Only minutes into the meeting, an unidentified person shared what many attendees describe as extremely graphic child pornography. Fifteen reports of Zoom-bombing were filed during the first few weeks of UC Santa Cruz’s spring quarter, according to City on a Hill Press. Local parents have also taken to social media to describe their children’s classrooms being hacked. While such a “bombing” instance can happen on any platform, Zoom received the dubious distinction of being associated with the crime thanks to its sharp rise in popularity. According to the San Jose-based company, Zoom’s average of 10 million daily participants in December 2019 skyrocketed to 200 million by March 2020. How can teachers and the general public protect themselves from the intrusion?In late March, Zoom released guidelines on how users could prevent “uninvited guests” from posting inappropriate content in their meetings. The FBI, which is the lead agency investigating the crimes, also released the following steps to mitigate teleconference hijacking threats: Do not make meetings or classrooms public. In Zoom, there are two options to make a meeting private: require a meeting password or use the waiting room feature and control the admittance of guests. Do not share a link to a teleconference or classroom on an unrestricted publicly available social media post. Provide the link directly to specific people.Manage screensharing options. In Zoom, change screensharing to “Host Only.” Ensure users are using the updated version of remote access/meeting applications. In January 2020, Zoom updated their software. In their security update, the teleconference software provider added passwords by default for meetings and disabled the ability to randomly scan for meetings to join. Lastly, ensure that your organization’s telework policy or guide addresses requirements for physical and information security. Zoom, which was founded in 2011, announced a number of new safety features for the program on April 22 as part of its “90-day plan” to increase its security capabilities. “I am proud to reach this step in our 90-day plan, but this is just the beginning,” Zoom CEO Eric S. Yuan stated in a press release. “We built our business by delivering happiness to our customers. We will earn our customers’ trust and deliver them happiness with our unwavering focus on providing the most secure platform.”Those who were a victim of a teleconference hijacking, or any cyber-crime for that matter, are asked to report it to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.

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Fathers Story

growingupsc — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 18:25:58 +0000

When a Father Has to Let Go of His Son BY JASON GARNER Some friends come by for a visit with their 18-month-old. After a few minutes of peek-a-boo and smiles behind daddy, she’s running around the house. Laughing. Falling down. Crying. “Doggie!” She screams and my dog jumps. She runs and cries some more. “TV!” She wants to watch Elmo. I buy an episode. “Melmo!” She giggles, throws her arms up, and sways along. She’s adorable, a tornado, the Energizer Bunny with dimples and a diaper. The whole house is exhausted. “Does this stage last long?” Her mother asks earnestly. My son is moving out. He’s turned 20 and over the last year I’ve observed how the safety of our home has become a prison for him. He has new ideas, morals and philosophies. I’ve been careful to allow space for his opinions but we disagree sometimes, which is new for us. He’s told me I’m patriarchal, capitalist, racist. I try to listen and learn, and can sometimes see his point, but mostly I hear, “Dad, I’m leaving,” which is something he hasn’t known how to say another way. He’s found a job in Kentucky, assisting the author and feminist philosopher bell hooks. He adores her, he’s thrilled. He’s leaving in a few days. I’m happy for him, and I’m sad.I was meditating recently, sitting in a chair by a window, listening to the flow and fall of a nearby stream. Time disappeared, replaced by the hollow sound of water crashing upon itself. I sat like this for a bit until the thoughts returned. I had a call to make. I reached for my phone on the table beside me and caught a glimpse of my children on the cover of a photo book my wife made one year for Father’s Day. The kids were tender like the fawn of spring. “I miss them,” I thought with a tear and a sudden flash of warmth. I notice when I say that: I miss my babies, it feels true. I miss holding hands. I miss tickles, silly songs to learn math, the way they gazed at me at night as I tucked them in and told them all the things they could be. When I say I miss them, it’s real. An authentic expression of a slightly broken heart. I also notice when I say how proud of them I am, how my heart is full of joy for the paths they’re uncovering, that feels true too. “I’m happy and I’ll miss you,” I tell my son. Holding those two truths together is sweet and seems to draw us closer to one another, and to life. I’ve been through this before, when my eldest daughter moved out and started film school. That was different though. We were following a time-honored path from home to university, and we were battling. I was scared, unsure how to be a dad to a teenage girl. I held on too tightly and the fear closed my heart. I forgot that the young woman in the backseat of the car on the way to high school still needed my love even as she reminded me I was no longer her knight in shining armor. My life was chaotic; I was working hard, marrying, divorcing, “too busy for this shit.” When she moved out we were both relieved. On a recent father-daughter road trip we talked about this. We cried a bit. I’d done my best all those years ago, but defending myself didn’t seem important. My job is to show up with open ears and heart. And she opened her heart too. “I’m sorry and I love you,” I said. When I moved out, I was driven and righteous, and cruel to my mom. Her life seemed small and I thought there was nothing left for me but to escape. We had a fight late one night and I left for good. I didn’t fully come back until she was dying. By then there were so many other things to say and do that “I’m sorry I was cruel to you” seemed minuscule. I talk to her still. “I’m sorry mom,” I whisper under my breath and wipe my eyes. Just as I’m thinking how happy I am I don’t have to do this again my 16-year-old pops into the room. She’s flying to LA to see a Harry Styles concert … with my old friends from Live Nation. She’ll dance. They’ll take her backstage. Her heart will swell. She’ll swoon a bit. “The man of my dreams,” she writes in the text below a picture hugging the artist. She grows up just a little on that trip. Moving closer to the day we’ll smile and cry as she moves out too. Fall is drawing near in the Santa Cruz Mountains. The white-spotted deer who just this spring bounded irresistibly through the oaks, don’t look like Bambi any more, stumbling with their new, awkward antlers. Wild turkeys, prehistoric and gangly, squawk and scratch craters unearthing my daffodils. They bear little resemblance to the chicks that waddled and pecked behind their mothers. Young hawks, shriek on their patrol, performing ineffectual dive bombs on rodents who seem to always be one step ahead. And the amaryllis have sprung to life too, pushing through the soil with an explosion of pink and red. My son and I drive quietly to the airport in the early morning darkness. The first rays of sunlight strike through the shadows of the redwoods lining the two-lane road to town. Occasionally one of us pats the other on the back or reaches for a Kleenex when the tears get to be too much. It’s notable that life doesn’t require a spectacle – a speech, or grand gesture, or some other dramatic effort – to emphasize a meaningful moment. We sit in silence, without adding or subtracting; sharing the raw feel of moving on … life in all its seasons is enough. A few questions to explore around growth and goodbyes and being a parent:What is being known? In moments of change we might notice the difference between the thoughts in our head and the feelings in our body. Where our thoughts tend to dramatize by adding to the experience, our bodies feel what’s actually going on. We can ground ourselves in the authentic sensations of our bodies through deep breaths, placing our attention in our feet, and mindful physical movement. Aware of our bodies we might ask, “What is being known?” and notice what we find. This is a doorway beyond the world of concepts, into a more authentic experience of our lives. What is my role?As our children grow we become aware of how little control we have over their lives. This may be why we cling to images of them in infancy, a time in which it appears we have more control. As they mature our influence lessens. We find ourselves one voice among many – friends, teachers, tweets from around the world, YouTube personalities. We may worry and find ourselves struggling to find our place amidst it all. Wondering, “What’s my role?” or “How do I fit in?” Just knowing we can explore these questions is the beginning of mindfulness. We become aware of areas we’re holding too tightly. We notice the fears we cling to and project onto our children’s lives. It’s safe to let go, to breathe, to allow life to unfold, since that’s what it’s doing anyway. Who am I?We’re confronted with the temporary nature of our lives. Our parents age and pass on. Our children grow and move out. Our lives change dramatically from one moment to the next. We’re no longer children, nor quite parents in the way we once were, and we face impermanence head on. The Buddha called this lack of a solid reality emptiness– an acknowledgement that our lives are fluid and ever-changing, that there’s nothing to hang on to. This tends to challenge our sense of self. For me it comes as the question, “Who am I?” This exploration of our identity (or lack thereof) is a classic spiritual pathway. It calls us to look beyond external comings and goings. The question draws us inward to the tender space in our heart, which is ultimately an opening into the vastness ahead. Where am I going?We have an interesting relationship with time. We tend to view it as something we move through on our way from here to there. Until, of course, we get there and find ourselves wishing we could go back in time and live it all again. As our children grow we mark milestones and measure against the norms – first steps, kindergarten, middle school, spelling tests, driver’s licenses, did they get into a good school? Then they’re gone, and the moments are gone too, and we might wonder, “Where am I going?” now. The journey is to inhabit this life, to feel your feet on the ground, to breathe the early-morning air, to take in the new orange blossoms on the tree in the park where you email clients as you powerwalk … and to smell the blossoms too. Where we’re going is here. What’s it like to be me?Waking up when the kids have grown we might notice the quiet. After years of running around, being on call, caring for others, the stillness can be welcome. It can also be lonely, eerie, and bring up the interesting (and uncomfortable) question,“What’s it like to be me?” This is a gateway to our uncharted inner-life, a calling to explore our own hearts, to show up for ourselves as we have for our children. This exploration can be frightening because it’s about intimacy, the thing we seek, the vulnerability we fear. Within the darkness there is an unnoticed light. It calls us inward. This is home. Jason Garner is the author of a book called … And I Breathed: My Journey from a Life of Matter to a Life That Matters Get it at JasonGarner.com

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