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	<title>Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo - Growing Up in Santa Cruz</title>
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	<title>Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo - Growing Up in Santa Cruz</title>
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		<title>Tips to Avoid Common Parenting Traps</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/tips-to-avoid-common-parenting-traps/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=tips-to-avoid-common-parenting-traps&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=tips-to-avoid-common-parenting-traps</link>
					<comments>https://growingupsc.com/tips-to-avoid-common-parenting-traps/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2026 14:41:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[April 2026]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=100095</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>April is the Month of the Young Child and Child Abuse Prevention Month, so it’s a good time to reflect on what it takes to raise happy, healthy, resilient children who thrive throughout life. Parenting is a non- stop job full of joy, struggles, love, worries, pride and stress. Every parent I know, including myself, has needed guidance and reassurance at some point. Yet many parents are hesitant to seek support, out of fear of being judged or shamed. It shouldn’t be that way. I hope that one day seeking support for parenting becomes just as automatic as breathing air. This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world- renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, I love my kids (2, 4) but am worried I’m not a good parent. I grew up with a perfectionist mother who criticized everyone – including herself – and wasn’t affectionate or encouraging. My dad lost his temper easily and yelled a lot. Now I’ve become a perfectionist and a yeller. It’s causing tension (and more yelling) between my husband and me. I want to change but don’t know how. Can you help? ~ Martha Dear Martha, You are not alone! Being a parent is an important and challenging job. Most parents start this lifelong job unprepared, and even the most loving parents get exhausted, frustrated or caught in “parenting traps” that create more stress. Here are a few common traps and tips to avoid them:Perfect Parent Trap: Many parents have unrealistic expectations of themselves or believe there is only one right way to parent. The pressure to be perfect tends to increase feelings of stress, disappointment, guilt and frustration. It can also lead parents to have unrealistic expectations of their children’s abilities or behaviors and teach children they need to be perfect, too. Tip: Remember there is no such thing as a perfect parent or child. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your children, and allow yourselves to learn through trial and error. Get support from your partner, friends, family, neighbors or community agencies. If it’s difficult to ask for or accept assistance, just remember that everyone needs help with parenting at some point in their lives. Escalation Trap: This happens when a parent says “no” to something – such as candy, screen time or a later bedtime – and the child responds by whining, begging, arguing or having a meltdown. The child becomes louder, angrier or more argumentative until the parent gives in. This increases the chance that the child will repeat these behaviors in the future to they get what they want. The escalation trap also can happen when a child ignores a parent’s instructions until the parent yells, criticizes or threatens the child with punishment. Although children might comply with their parents’ wishes, they often learn to ignore parents until the adult has become angry or frustrated. This can lead parents to believe criticism, threats and yelling are the only way to get their children’s attention. Tips: Establish a few simple, fair family rules with your children. Talk about which rules are non-negotiable and in what situations the rules might be flexible. Discuss what the logical consequences will be if they choose not to follow the family rules. Give clear, calm instructions, then give your child time to cooperate. If needed, repeat your instruction once and be ready to follow up with the logical consequence. Take deep breaths so you can remain calm and matter-of-fact. This will help prevent you from resorting to threats, bribes, begging, yelling or giving in. Leave Them Alone Trap. When parents ignore their children’s positive behaviors, those behaviors are less likely to occur. Or, if parents only pay attention to their children when they misbehave, children learn that the best way to get their parents’ attention is to misbehave or act out. Tip: Spend brief and frequent quality time with your children each day. Talk, read, sing and play together. Give them attention and descriptive praise to show you notice their efforts and appreciate them for who they are. FINAL THOUGHTS: Raising children is a lifelong job with many potential “traps” that make the job harder. A few positive parenting strategies can help you avoid those traps and make it easier to raise happy, healthy children who become independent, capable, well-adjusted adults.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/tips-to-avoid-common-parenting-traps/">Tips to Avoid Common Parenting Traps</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Healthy Screen Time Habits</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/healthy-screen-time-habits-2/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=healthy-screen-time-habits-2&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=healthy-screen-time-habits-2</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Mar 2026 07:05:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[March 2026]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=97717</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Learn how to establish healthy screen time habits and family agreements for children and teens with expert advice from Triple P's Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/healthy-screen-time-habits-2/">Healthy Screen Time Habits</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Showing Love in Many Languages</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/showing-love-in-many-languages/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=showing-love-in-many-languages&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=showing-love-in-many-languages</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Feb 2026 04:46:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[February 2026]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=81133</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Learning about “love languages”, a concept that Dr. Gary Chapman wrote about in his book, “The 5 Love Languages”, opened my eyes to all the different ways one can express themselves. Dr. Chapman believes everyone expresses and experiences love in the same five ways – physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time – but each person has a primary language that is most meaningful to them. Relationships are more likely to thrive when people show their love in the language that the other person prefers – even if it’s different from their own primary love language. As I learned my own love languages, when I met my husband, it was easy to introduce this concept to him as well, which helped our relationship with each other. It made it easier to understand one another and speak to each other in a way that honored our love languages. Now, with our daughter, we ensure we use all love languages and gauge to see which one she responds to or prefers. It is neat to see how our love languages make her feel seen and safe, and how she expresses her love to us. One that is special to all of us is quality time. As a family, we make sure we create those small moments of connection with one another throughout the day. Love languages are true in romantic relationships, as well as relationships between parents/caregivers and their children and teens. The primary love language of children and teens may change as they grow, so it helps to learn how to “speak” each language and be ready to show your love in multiple ways. I am excited to learn more about my daughter’s love languages as she gets older. Here are some ideas for speaking the love language of your children (and try them with your partner and other important people in your life!): Physical Touch – This is also a Triple P parenting strategy for building strong relationships. Show your love through physical touch and affection, including hugs, back rubs, holding hands, snuggles, high fives, tickling, or even wrestling. Receiving Gifts – If this is someone’s primary love language, it doesn’t mean they are shallow or materialistic. Instead, they assign special meaning to physical items they receive from someone they care about. The actual gift could be a note, a flower, a star or sticker on a chore chart – i.e. it doesn’t have to be an expensive present. Likewise, if this is your child’s love language, then it will mean a lot when you show appreciation for the gifts they give to you – a drawing, a school art project, or a rock or shell they found on their walk with you, for example. Words of Appreciation – For some people, hearing praise, positive feedback, supportive words, encouragement, and acknowledgement feeds their soul. It reminds them they are seen and valued and both their efforts and accomplishments are noticed. Try leaving notes in surprise places (on their pillow, on a computer or notebook), sending texts, giving praise and encouragement, or letting them overhear you tell someone else (even your family pet or child’s favorite stuffed animal) how much you love and appreciate them. Acts of Service – This doesn’t mean doing everything for your kids (or partner) whenever they want something. Instead, speak this love language through thoughtful gestures, like making their favorite food for dinner, helping them with a difficult homework assignment, or occasionally doing one of their chores for them when you know they’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Quality Time – This is also one of the most effective Triple P strategies for building strong relationships. In Triple P, quality time can be brief and frequent – it doesn’t always require dedicating hours to doing an activity together, which often feels impossible and unrealistic. The most important thing to do is to stop what you’re doing and give your full attention when your child or teen wants to talk or show you something. This shows you care about their needs, opinions, and interests – and that you’re available when they need you. Final Thoughts: Think about which love languages mean the most to you and other people in your family. Express your love for them in their preferred love language – even if it feels unnatural or unnecessary to you. Being willing to learn and “speak” someone else’s love language is part of showing you care. And if your family needs help speaking your love language, give them some ideas – “I really love it when you leave me little notes – it makes me feel good to know you’re thinking about me” – until they become fluent in your love language!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/showing-love-in-many-languages/">Showing Love in Many Languages</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Celebrating You During Positive Parenting Awareness Month</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/celebrating-you-during-positive-parenting-awareness-month-2-2/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=celebrating-you-during-positive-parenting-awareness-month-2-2&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=celebrating-you-during-positive-parenting-awareness-month-2-2</link>
					<comments>https://growingupsc.com/celebrating-you-during-positive-parenting-awareness-month-2-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Jan 2026 16:06:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[January 2026]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=79651</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Celebrate Positive Parenting Awareness Month this January. Learn about the five principles of positive parenting and resources available in Santa Cruz County.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/celebrating-you-during-positive-parenting-awareness-month-2-2/">Celebrating You During Positive Parenting Awareness Month</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Your Presence is the Best Present</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/your-presence-is-the-best-present/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=your-presence-is-the-best-present&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=your-presence-is-the-best-present</link>
					<comments>https://growingupsc.com/your-presence-is-the-best-present/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Dec 2025 04:53:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[December 2025]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=78410</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Discover how presence, not presents, is the best gift for children. Learn parenting tips on setting expectations, communicating effectively, and fostering independence and self-esteem.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/your-presence-is-the-best-present/">Your Presence is the Best Present</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Developing an Attitude of Gratitude</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/developing-an-attitude-of-gratitude/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=developing-an-attitude-of-gratitude&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=developing-an-attitude-of-gratitude</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Nov 2025 07:23:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[November 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratitude for kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive parenting]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=77286</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Some days, I get so caught up in work, chores, and the busyness of everyday life that I forget to slow down and really notice the little things. Watching my daughter play, hearing her laugh at something silly, or seeing sunlight spill across the living room—these small moments often pass by before I even register them. Lately, I&#8217;ve been making an effort to pause more often: to feel the warmth of the sun on my face, savor a quiet cup of coffee, or simply take a deep breath. Doing this reminds me how much there is to be grateful for, and how much richer life feels when I slow down and truly take it in. This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children or teens, based on the world-renowned Triple P — Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, I have great kids (7 and 9) who are polite, get along with each other, and don&#8217;t have any behavior issues (yet). I&#8217;d like some ideas, though, about how to teach them to be grateful for what they have, instead of always wanting or feeling entitled to have more things. Do you have any tips for me? — Ernesto Dear Ernesto, What a great question! It&#8217;s common for children — and many adults — to behave in ways that appear self-centered, materialistic, or constantly dissatisfied. It might seem like these behaviors are part of human nature or our society that we have to accept, but they are actually learned behaviors that can be reduced or replaced with gratitude. In fact, research shows that having an attitude of gratitude changes the structure of the human brain, making people feel happier, healthier, and more peaceful. Here are some tips to try: Set a good example. Take time to notice the things you are grateful for, even if it&#8217;s something that seems trivial. Talk to your children about the peace, satisfaction, or happiness that you feel when you watch the sunset, smell your favorite food, read a good book, get their help with chores, or put on your sweatpants and slippers at the end of a long day. Avoid complaining or criticizing other people or things, especially in front of your children. Remember they are constantly watching, listening, and learning from you – even when it seems like they are ignoring you. Make gratitude a daily habit. Ask your children to identify one thing they are grateful or thankful for each day. Younger children might enjoy drawing pictures of the things that make them feel content and peaceful. Older children can also draw, write in a journal or take pictures. Have conversations about the things they appreciate during mealtimes, bedtime, or as you&#8217;re going about your daily activities. These simple steps can teach children to notice and find joy in the everyday moments of their lives. Give them responsibilities at home. Running a household and raising children is hard work! Give children age-appropriate chores and responsibilities to teach them that family life runs more smoothly when everyone pitches in. Give descriptive praise and positive attention to show your appreciation when they help with laundry, dishes, cleaning, feeding pets, or doing yardwork. This will encourage them to continue being helpful, as well as increase the likelihood that they&#8217;ll be grateful — instead of taking it for granted — when other people do things for them. Encourage children to help and care for others. Receiving gratitude from other people gives children the chance to feel good about being kind, helpful, and generous. Try to find an activity your whole family can help with — provide baked goods for a school fundraiser, serve meals at a shelter, pick up trash in your community, or visit seniors who live alone without family close by. Involve your children in picking the activity and talk about how it will be helpful. Acknowledge their helpfulness during the activity, then talk to them afterwards about how they felt. Encourage your children to continue helping others without expecting anything in return, so that they learn to receive gratitude throughout the year. Final Thoughts: Take a few moments each day to notice the people and experiences that make you happy, content and peaceful. Express your appreciation and gratitude, and teach your children to do the same. Make this a daily habit, and you&#8217;ll find that gratitude becomes contagious.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/developing-an-attitude-of-gratitude/">Developing an Attitude of Gratitude</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Power Of Setting Limits</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/power-of-setting-limits/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=power-of-setting-limits&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=power-of-setting-limits</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2025 15:46:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[October 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting limits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Triple P]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=75879</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Parents naturally want to make their kids happy—we love them so much, it’s natural to want to give them the world. But balancing that desire with the need to set clear, consistent boundaries isn’t always easy. I know for myself, I often wonder: are we being too soft? Too strict? Finding that “just right” middle ground can be a real challenge. This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world- renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, I’m a mother to two boys, ages 4 and 7. I try to be consistent with the rules and expectations for my sons, but lately I feel like I may be too strict of a parent. My boys tell me their friends get treats in their lunches, go to bed late, have sleepovers on weeknights and get to play video games whenever they want. My oldest even says he has friends who have their own TVs in their bedrooms! While I think my kids may be exaggerating a bit, other parents I talk to have more lax rules. Are mine unreasonable? Gloria Dear Gloria, A big part of parenting involves setting limits for children, and it sounds like you’re doing a good job. Setting limits is an important part of parenting, even if it’s not always easy or popular. Clear boundaries help kids understand what’s expected and support their well-being. The key is finding rules that feel fair to both you and your kids. Here are a few tips: Involve Your Children In Discussing The Family Rules When children are younger, the responsibility for setting family rules falls primarily on theparent. As children get older, it can be helpful to involve them in the discussion so they understand the reasons for the limits and can share their ideas about what is fair and reasonable. There may also be times when you have different rules or limits for your children, such as a later bedtime for your older child, or fewer chores for your younger child. Involving them in the discussion can help them understand that rules can be different for each of them and still be fair. Start With A Few Simple Family Rules Or Limits Rules or limits are most effective when there are a few of them, they are simple, and they focus on what you want your children to do (versus not do). This makes it easier for both you and your children to remember the limits, which increases their chances of success in following them. For example, instead of saying “No sleepovers on weeknights,” try saying, “Friends can sleep over on weekends.” Some families have rules or limits that are non-negotiable, based on their values about promoting their children’s health, safety, etc. Oftentimes, families also identify rules or limits that are more flexible. You might decide that certain limits are non-negotiable in your family, such as “Finish homework before watching TV,” or “Sweet treats can only be eaten at one meal per day.” As you set firm limits, you might also consider whether certain rules can be more flexible, such as “Eat healthy foods for lunch every day, then pick a treat for lunch on Friday.” This gives your children something to look forward to while still teaching them to respect the limits you have set. Continue To Talk With Other Parents And Adults You Trust. As your children get older, the need for and types of rules or limits you have will change. It’s great to talk with other parents – it helps you let your children know that different families can have different rules. It can also help you decide when and how to modify your family rules as each child gets older. You might also find it helpful to talk to a pediatrician, a pastor, teacher, other friends or family members whose children have already grown up. You are likely to get a range of opinions about what’s considered fair, reasonable and age-appropriate for your children. If it starts to get overwhelming, just think of it as gathering information to help you decide what feels right for your family. Setting (and sticking to) limits can be one of the hardest – and most important – parts of parenting. Establishing reasonable rules and teaching children to follow them will help keep them safe and healthy in the long run. Although they may not appreciate it now, they will thank you someday…when they are raising their own children.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/power-of-setting-limits/">Power Of Setting Limits</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Navigating the Ups and Downs of Friendships</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/navigating-the-ups-and-downs-of-friendships/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=navigating-the-ups-and-downs-of-friendships&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=navigating-the-ups-and-downs-of-friendships</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jul 2025 06:15:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[July 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=71792</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>We’ve all experienced friendship fallouts one way or another, whether as kids or adults. As I see my daughter forming friendships at preschool, I see how joyful and full of promised those early connections can be. And I also know as she grows, those relationships will become more complex. It is a daunting thought at times, knowing I won’t always be able to protect her from the heartaches that come with friendships. Still, I remind myself that what I can do is help build a strong emotional foundation. And I will do my best to teach her tools to handle the ups and downs of her social relationships – and then trust she will be able to use those tools when the time comes.This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, My 12-year old daughter has been spending a lot of time alone lately. Her usual group of friends has become more interested in social media, shopping, and watching YouTube videos (and who knows what else) – and my daughter isn’t interested in any of that. It doesn’t seem to bother her to be alone, but I haven’t heard her talk about making new friends either. Should I be worried? Jessica Dear Jessica,That’s a good question, and it’s important that you’re noticing changes in your daughter’s social life. As kids grow older, their social groups often change as they develop different interests and meet new people. It’s possible that your daughter naturally grew apart from her usual group of friends, and it may just take time to form new friendships. Or, this change could be a sign that something else is going on and your daughter could use support. Here are some tips to try: Have a casual conversation with your daughter. Ask about activities or hobbies she’s interested in and the people she spends time with online or face-to-face. Listen for signs that her interests – and therefore her social group – may have changed by her choice, or listen for signs that she feels left out and left behind by her friends. Ask how she feels about the changes in her friendships. Tell her you’ve noticed she’s been spending less time with her usual group of friends and you’re wondering how she feels about it. Ask open-ended questions to encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings – “How do you feel about spending less time with those friends?” – then gradually ask more specific questions to gauge whether your daughter feels there is a problem – “Did something happen that changed the friendships?” or “Do you wish you were still close to them?” Watch for clues about how your daughter is coping with changing friendships. If she becomes upset or talks about being isolated and lonely, then ask her what she would like to do and if she wants your help. Hold off on giving advice or solutions unless your daughter asks for it. Instead, try asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?” then let her answers guide your actions. If your daughter seems interested in other people and activities but says she just outgrew her old friends and needs some time before making new ones, then let her know you’re there if she needs someone to talk to. Keep having casual conversations about her interests and social life and offer help if she asks for it. Encourage your daughter to form new friendships. Even if your daughter enjoys being alone, she might still need some support and encouragement to meet and make new friends. If she’s not sure where to start, help her identify her strengths and interests, then look for activities that provide an opportunity to meet people with similar interests. This can help start new friendships and build social skills. Final Thoughts: Navigating the ups and downs of friendships is hard for many kids (and adults), especially in the midst of physical and hormonal changes and pressure to project an image of the “perfect life” on social media. With support from caring adults, children and teens can learn important social and emotional skills, like expressing their feelings, staying true to their values, and dealing with disappointment or rejection. Although adolescence eventually ends, the importance of having positive relationships never goes away.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/navigating-the-ups-and-downs-of-friendships/">Navigating the Ups and Downs of Friendships</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Tips for Dads and Father Figures</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/tips-for-dads-and-father-figures-2/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=tips-for-dads-and-father-figures-2&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=tips-for-dads-and-father-figures-2</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2025 00:12:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[June 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=70485</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Every day, I watch my husband create special memories with our daughter. From playing pretend, singing songs, or going on little adventures of their own, I see their bond growing (as well as a very similar sense of humor). As she experiences big emotions, his calmness brings her comfort, makes her feel seen and loved. The other day, I overheard them while building a toy kitchen together. He guided her through each step, giving her small tasks to do. She was completely engaged, proudly helping him along the way. And then, with a full heart, I heard her say, “Papa, I love you so much.” It’s in those simple, everyday moments that something truly special unfolds. No matter whether the memories are filled with joy or challenges, I know my husband will always make our daughter feel safe, secure, loved, and cared for. During this month of celebrating and supporting dads, I hope that every child has a dad, stepdad, uncle, papá, foster dad, or other father figure who makes them feel this way, too. This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, I am a father to a 6-year-old and really want to be more involved in his life. I work full-time and by the time I’m home, it feels like we’re just getting through the evening routine without much real connection. I didn’t have the best role model growing up, so I’m figuring it out as I go. My partner and I want things to be different for our kid, but I don’t seem to know where to start. Got any tips? &#8211; Samuel Dear Samuel, First, I want you to know you’re not alone. Fathers and father figures play a critical role in children’s well-being, but it still takes time, practice, and patience to be the kind of dad you want to be. That’s because parenting is hard work, and children don’t come with an instruction manual! Here are some tips to try: Spend quality time with your children every day. Find moments throughout the day to give them your undivided attention and affection. Turn everyday tasks such as changing diapers, eating meals, and getting dressed into quality time by giving a hug, smiling, or talking with them. This kind of brief and frequent quality time lets your children know you love and care for them, and that you’re available when they need you. This is the foundation for positive relationships throughout life. Do engaging activities together. This is another way to spend quality time together while encouraging learning, curiosity, creativity, and skill-building. Read books, play games, go on walks, make meals together – these are all things you can do with your children at any age that will become the basis of their happy childhood memories. Do activities that your children are interested in and follow their lead. And yes, this could mean playing endless games of peek-a-boo or reading the same book a million times. Also introduce them to activities you and your partner enjoy to expand their horizons and bond as a family. Work as a team with your partner. Talk with your partner about the family rules and expectations that matter to both of you, including how you will handle discipline. This will help make sure you’re on the same page as a parenting team before challenges occur. Make time for you and your partner to talk and connect. It’s easy to get consumed by daily responsibilities and forget to take care of the relationship, but remember that parenting is easier and more enjoyable when you’re a strong team. Be the role model you wish you’d had. Your children are constantly learning by watching and listening to the way you communicate with others, handle emotions, and solve problems – even when it seems like they’re not paying attention to you. Teach and model the behaviors you want your children to learn – including how to express emotions, give affection, listen, cooperate, and take care of your mental health – and they’re more likely to learn those skills, too. Final Thoughts: Being a loving, nurturing, supportive father or father figure supports children’s self-esteem, emotional resilience, social skills, and school readiness, and increases their chances of success in school and other activities throughout life. And dads who are actively involved in their children’s lives often report increased happiness and fulfillment. That’s a win-win that deserves to be celebrated! .</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/tips-for-dads-and-father-figures-2/">Tips for Dads and Father Figures</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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		<title>Your Mental Health Matters</title>
		<link>https://growingupsc.com/your-mental-health-matters/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=your-mental-health-matters&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=your-mental-health-matters</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2025 06:32:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[May 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ask Yesenia]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://growingupsc.com/?p=69294</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it’s also a time when we celebrate our mothers, grandmas, aunties, and other mother figures. Motherhood is a transformative and profound journey — it changes you in such a deep way, and yet we often don’t acknowledge how hard that can be. I’ve struggled with my own mental health throughout my life, and becoming a mother has brought its own set of ups and downs — moments of overwhelm, stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. And yet, motherhood has also been the source of some of the deepest love and joy I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Motherhood has helped me fall in love with life in new ways — especially in the little moments with the family I’ve created. But let’s be real: it’s not always easy. And no one should have to go through it alone. This monthly column provides tips for anyone raising children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc.org. Dear Yesenia, Lately, I’ve been feeling completely drained — like I’m constantly running on empty, just trying to keep up with everything. Between work, school drop-offs, meals, laundry, and trying to be emotionally present for my kids, I don’t even recognize myself some days. I know I need support, but I don’t even know where to start or what kind of help I need. How do you ask for help when you’re used to being the one holding it all together? &#8211; Gracie Dear Gracie, I’m sure many parents and caregivers are familiar with that feeling. As we juggle all the daily demands and endless to do lists, it’s so easy to forget about ourselves. But your mental health matters. You matter. Taking care of yourself is essential. You deserve support, rest, and moments to simply breathe. This is why “taking care of yourself” is one of the core principles of positive parenting in the Triple P program. It’s easier said than done, but here are some tips to try: Allow yourself to slow down. Practice saying “no” to extra commitments if you can. And don’t feel guilty about taking time to rest and watch TV, or doing something else that helps you relax. If you have young children who need supervision, ask your partner or another caregiver to watch them so you get a true, guilt-free break. If your kids are older and don’t need constant supervision, tell them you’re taking a mental wellness break. Talk about and agree on safe, engaging activities they will do so that you can get a guilt-free, worry-free break. Recognize signs of stress. People feel and respond to stress in different ways. Stress is often felt as physical pain or discomfort, which can intensify mental and emotional distress, creating a cycle that is difficult to break. If you experience tense or stiff muscles, headaches, extreme emotions, difficulty sleeping, constant tiredness, problems concentrating, an upset stomach, or frequent illnesses or infections, those may be signs that your mind and body need a break. Try to notice these signs before you reach the point where you feel you can’t do anything. Practice relaxation techniques. When you notice signs of stress, take a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose, pause, then let all the air out and do it again. Or tighten the muscles in one area of your body for 10 seconds, then relax the muscles to relieve the tension. Repeat with a different area of your body, noticing how the tension and relaxation feels each time. Other relaxation techniques include art, exercising, meditating, reading, listening to music, cooking, journaling, or being in nature. Find a technique that helps you feel calm and practice it every day. Use affirmations or coping statements. Thoughts such as, “I can’t deal with this,” or “This will never change” might feel true, but negative thinking can increase stress, anxiety, helplessness, or hopelessness and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, try replacing negative thoughts with an affirmation or coping statement, such as: I’m doing the best I can. My mental well-being is a priority. Just breathe. I can only do so much. Tomorrow is a new day. Final Thoughts: Find self-care techniques that work for you and turn them into daily habits. Remember that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, a weakness, or a waste of time. Nurturing your mental health will reduce the stress of parenting (and everyday life) and provide a healthy model for your children, who are developing their own tools for coping with stress. Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo is the mother of a 3-year-old daughter and the Triple P Program Manager for First 5 Santa Cruz County. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency, and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit triplep.first5scc.org, facebook.com/triplepscc, or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://growingupsc.com/your-mental-health-matters/">Your Mental Health Matters</a> first appeared on <a href="https://growingupsc.com">Growing Up in Santa Cruz</a>.</p>]]></description>
		
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